The Colbert Report

Paul Muldoon

Season 5 • 06/18/2009

Stephen wants to make Paul Muldoon's poem "Tea" the number one poem in America.

More

Watching

05:28

The Word - Bohemian Grove
The Colbert ReportS5

A man has never asked to be considered for membership in Sonia Sotomayor's women's-only club -- until now.
06/17/2009
03:16

Alpha Dog of the Week - Silvio Berlusconi
The Colbert ReportS5

Silvio Berlusconi really shows his doggie bag by asking his wife to apologize for the negative media attention over his affair with an 18-year-old.
06/17/2009
01:55

Murder in the White House - Fly Widow Interview
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen interviews the wife and 93 children of the fly that President Obama killed.
06/17/2009
00:18

Sign Off - Aloha, Idaho
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen likes to single out a state at the end of the show, so tonight he says aloha to Idaho.
06/17/2009
06:03

Joshua Micah Marshall
The Colbert ReportS5

Joshua Micah Marshall describes the Talking Points Memo blog as a hybrid of collaborative reader reporting and traditional reporting.
06/17/2009
04:52

ThreatDown - Uighurs & Donald H. Crosby
The Colbert ReportS5

Uighurs should stop having so much fun, and Donald H. Crosby wants to know who the hell Stephen Colbert is.
06/18/2009
05:25

Bears & Balls - Tobacco, Project Natal & Graveyard Bids
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama outlaws flavored cigarettes, Microsoft introduces Project Natal, and a graveyard accepts bids.
06/18/2009
00:30

Intro - 6/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.
06/18/2009
00:14

Sign Off - Law & Order Preview
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thanks Jeff Goldblum for stopping by and reveals a little preview of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
06/18/2009
03:52

Murder in the White House - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum demands an apology from Barack Obama for his brutal act of violence against a fly.
06/18/2009
04:55

Paul Muldoon
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Muldoon and Stephen recite "Tea" together to help it become the number one poem in America.
06/18/2009
00:18

Sign Off - Stephen Suffers, Too
The Colbert ReportS5

Once the audience leaves, Stephen waits in the chair till the next show starts.
06/22/2009
00:24

Intro - 6/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.
06/22/2009
02:03

The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
06/22/2009
06:45

Simon Schama
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Schama admits that out of all the countries' histories he's covered, the United States has the greatest.
06/22/2009
04:39

The Enemy Within - Cane Fu
The Colbert ReportS5

Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
06/22/2009
05:08

Zicam Recall
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
06/22/2009
02:14

America's Health Plan-Demic
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
06/23/2009
04:16

Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford
The Colbert ReportS5

As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
06/23/2009
03:07

Barack Obama's Response to Iran
The Colbert ReportS5

Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
06/23/2009
04:21

America's Health Plan-Demic - Howard Dean
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Dean believes the American government can pay for a public health insurance option because it will generate more jobs.
06/23/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022