The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/3/09

Season 5 • 11/03/2009

America's jails are overcrowded. How can we make our prisoners more stackable?

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Watching

03:20

Alpha Dog of the Week - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Colbert ReportS5

Arnold Schwarzenegger comes up with the dirtiest hidden word puzzle since they discontinued the kid's menu at Hooters.
11/02/2009
01:43

Used Karzai
The Colbert ReportS5

Hamid Karzai is declared the winner of the Afghan election after Abdullah Abdullah withdraws from the race.
11/02/2009
05:32

Nicholas Thompson
The Colbert ReportS5

Nicholas Thompson describes the lives of two friends -- Paul Nitze and George Kennan -- battling over the U.S. approach to the Cold War.
11/02/2009
07:34

Sport Report - NYC Marathon & Olympic Speedskating
The Colbert ReportS5

An American finally wins the New York City marathon, and the Colbert Nation becomes the official sponsor of the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/02/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Donate to the U.S. Speedskating Team
The Colbert ReportS5

Make sure that it's America's 38-inch thighs on the Olympics medal platform by donating to the U.S. speedskating team.
11/02/2009
02:00

Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation
The Colbert ReportS5

Despite Canadian hackers taking down the donations link, you heroes have already raised $40,000 for the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/03/2009
00:18

Sign Off - They Call Me Mister Fry
The Colbert ReportS5

If you are going to be in New York, check out "They Call Me Mister Fry" at the Comic Strip Live.
11/03/2009
07:20

Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS5

Andrew Sullivan details Barack Obama's achievements in improved international relations, health care reform and bipartisanship.
11/03/2009
05:38

Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
The Colbert ReportS5

The Mormon Church arrested Derek Jones and Matt Aune for criminal trespassing, not for being gay.
11/03/2009
04:31

The Word - The Green Mile
The Colbert ReportS5

The rest of America should follow Arizona's lead and replace the long arm of the law with the invisible hand of the market.
11/03/2009
00:33

Intro - 11/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thinks it's racist that there's no Pepper Lake City, and Andrew Sullivan talks about Obama's accomplishments.
11/03/2009
00:34

Intro - 11/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
11/04/2009
00:27

Intro - 11/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
11/04/2009
05:00

Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al Gore
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
11/04/2009
06:39

Harold Evans
The Colbert ReportS5

Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
11/04/2009
01:56

Guy-Fawkers
The Colbert ReportS5

Michele Bachmann one-ups the tea party protests by holding a health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day.
11/04/2009
03:31

'09 Off-Year Semi-Presidential Electferendum
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama loses the New Jersey and Virginia gubernatorial races, and Chris Christie uses Monty Python to attack Jon Corzine.
11/04/2009
02:47

Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
The Colbert ReportS5

Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
11/04/2009
04:33

William Bratton
The Colbert ReportS5

William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
11/04/2009
04:50

Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Colbert ReportS5

The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
11/04/2009
00:15

Sign Off - Donate to U.S. Speedskating
The Colbert ReportS5

Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/04/2009
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