The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/4/09

Season 5 • 11/04/2009

Stephen analyzes yesterday's election results. Oh crap, he forgot to vote.

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00:34

Intro - 11/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
11/04/2009
05:00

Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al Gore
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
11/04/2009
06:39

Harold Evans
The Colbert ReportS5

Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
11/04/2009
01:56

Guy-Fawkers
The Colbert ReportS5

Michele Bachmann one-ups the tea party protests by holding a health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day.
11/04/2009
03:31

'09 Off-Year Semi-Presidential Electferendum
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama loses the New Jersey and Virginia gubernatorial races, and Chris Christie uses Monty Python to attack Jon Corzine.
11/04/2009
02:47

Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
The Colbert ReportS5

Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
11/04/2009
04:33

William Bratton
The Colbert ReportS5

William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
11/04/2009
04:50

Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Colbert ReportS5

The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
11/04/2009
00:15

Sign Off - Donate to U.S. Speedskating
The Colbert ReportS5

Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/04/2009
00:12

Sign Off - Poison Gas
The Colbert ReportS5

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here -- Stephen's flooding the studio with poison gas.
11/04/2009
00:27

Intro - 11/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
11/04/2009
02:51

Trouble, Coverage
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Democrats pass health care reform while Republicans are at home watching Wanda Sykes' new show.
11/09/2009
03:10

U.S. Speedskating Team Takes Gold
The Colbert ReportS5

Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
11/09/2009
00:31

Intro - 11/9/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
11/09/2009
07:56

Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
The Colbert ReportS5

Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
11/09/2009
05:19

Thomas Campbell
The Colbert ReportS5

Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
11/09/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight.
11/09/2009
00:09

Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
The Colbert ReportS5

You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
11/10/2009
00:30

Intro - 11/10/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
11/10/2009
02:21

Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
The Colbert ReportS5

Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
11/10/2009
05:17

Maria Shriver
The Colbert ReportS5

Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
11/10/2009
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