The Colbert Report

Alito Haters

Season 2 • 01/11/2006

Stephen sticks up for Samuel Alito.

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05:43

Carl Bernstein
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen speaks with Carl Bernstein about what Bush and Nixon have in common and points out that a strong president is better than an honest president.
01/10/2006
01:50

The In-Box - Taking a Bullet
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen attributes his ability to take a bullet from Conan O'Brien to the inspirational way Ronald Reagan got shot and shook it off.
01/10/2006
03:05

The Word - Sleeper Cell
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen feels that it's our duty to stop the sexagaterrorist baby boomers from destroying our way of life.
01/10/2006
04:30

Balls for Kidz - Bear Hunting
The Colbert ReportS2

In response to a letter questioning his bear-hatred, Stephen has some expert hunters tell a group of kids how and why to hunt bears.
01/10/2006
00:31

Intro - 1/11/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen looks at Samuel Alito's confirmation hearings, sits down with "20/20"'s John Stossel, and compares Freddy Krueger and the Mars rover.
01/11/2006
03:24

The Word - Whatever
The Colbert ReportS2

What Samuel Alito said in the past shouldn't have anything to do with the present or future.
01/11/2006
00:08

Fract - Colbert Trivia
The Colbert ReportS2

John Tyler had fifteen children but Stephen has fifteen million children.
01/11/2006
01:31

Colbert Report Consumer Alert
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen is shocked by Chest Magazine's claim that cough syrup doesn't really work.
01/11/2006
01:41

Sign Off - Future Money
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen adds a piggy bank to his bookshelf and puts in a dollar for the children's future. He tells them to smash it open in 2050 and trade the dollars for the new currency.
01/11/2006
04:29

ThreatDown - Fathers and Sons
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen sounds the warning on dads who let their kids hang out in war zones, breeding robots, bears that aren't really hibernating and the Associated Press.
01/11/2006
02:29

Alito Haters
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen proves that, contrary to media criticism, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito is an exciting and hilarious man.
01/11/2006
05:43

John Stossel
The Colbert ReportS2

John Stossel tells Stephen what's wrong with the education system and Stephen tells John what a freedom-tarian is.
01/11/2006
06:43

Better Know a District - New Jersey's 9th - Steven Rothman
The Colbert ReportS2

Congressman Steve Rothman talks about New Jersey, the war in Iraq and what date movie he'd see with Stephen.
01/12/2006
00:32

Intro - 1/12/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will ask evolution expert Kenneth Miller about the Lord, Congressman Steve Rothman defends New Jersey and the Miss America Pageant gets back to its roots.
01/12/2006
01:17

The Oscars
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen congratulates Jon Stewart for being asked to host the Oscars, but suggests the Academy reconsider and go with a CGI version of Bob Hope.
01/12/2006
03:29

The Word - Double-Stick Tape
The Colbert ReportS2

With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
01/12/2006
00:08

Fract - Frnap: Monarchy
The Colbert ReportS2

Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
01/12/2006
02:04

Michael Adams' Apology
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
01/12/2006
05:16

Kenneth Miller
The Colbert ReportS2

Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
01/12/2006
04:10

Martin Luther King Jr. Day
The Colbert ReportS2

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
01/16/2006
00:38

Intro - 1/16/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will tell you how the government knows about that thing you did to that thing. You should be ashamed, and so should that thing.
01/16/2006
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