The Colbert Report

The Oscars

Season 2 • 01/12/2006

Stephen suggests a better host for the Academy Awards.

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02:29

Alito Haters
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen proves that, contrary to media criticism, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito is an exciting and hilarious man.
01/11/2006
01:41

Sign Off - Future Money
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen adds a piggy bank to his bookshelf and puts in a dollar for the children's future. He tells them to smash it open in 2050 and trade the dollars for the new currency.
01/11/2006
04:29

ThreatDown - Fathers and Sons
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen sounds the warning on dads who let their kids hang out in war zones, breeding robots, bears that aren't really hibernating and the Associated Press.
01/11/2006
05:43

John Stossel
The Colbert ReportS2

John Stossel tells Stephen what's wrong with the education system and Stephen tells John what a freedom-tarian is.
01/11/2006
06:43

Better Know a District - New Jersey's 9th - Steven Rothman
The Colbert ReportS2

Congressman Steve Rothman talks about New Jersey, the war in Iraq and what date movie he'd see with Stephen.
01/12/2006
00:32

Intro - 1/12/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will ask evolution expert Kenneth Miller about the Lord, Congressman Steve Rothman defends New Jersey and the Miss America Pageant gets back to its roots.
01/12/2006
03:29

The Word - Double-Stick Tape
The Colbert ReportS2

With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
01/12/2006
00:08

Fract - Frnap: Monarchy
The Colbert ReportS2

Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
01/12/2006
02:04

Michael Adams' Apology
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
01/12/2006
05:16

Kenneth Miller
The Colbert ReportS2

Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
01/12/2006
01:17

The Oscars
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen congratulates Jon Stewart for being asked to host the Oscars, but suggests the Academy reconsider and go with a CGI version of Bob Hope.
01/12/2006
04:10

Martin Luther King Jr. Day
The Colbert ReportS2

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
01/16/2006
00:38

Intro - 1/16/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will tell you how the government knows about that thing you did to that thing. You should be ashamed, and so should that thing.
01/16/2006
02:21

The Word - Cerrado!
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen has an elaborate idea for keeping America's borders closed, hinged on the cheap labor of illegal immigrants.
01/16/2006
03:09

Movies That Are Destroying America - Transamerica
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen expresses his disappointment in the sequel to "National Velvet."
01/16/2006
07:17

George Stephanopoulos
The Colbert ReportS2

George Stephanopoulos relates politics to wrestling at Stephen's insistence.
01/16/2006
00:10

Fract - Captain North Korea
The Colbert ReportS2

A near-mint "Captain America" is way more valuable than a near-mint "Captain North Korea."
01/16/2006
02:22

Sign Off - I Have a Dreamsicle
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen compares race relations to his Dreamsicle ice cream pop.
01/16/2006
01:14

The Golden Globes
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's assistant had to give him the details on Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carrell and Harrison Ford at the Golden Globes.
01/17/2006
03:08

The Word - Old School
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen takes a look at the old school God and shows us how the new one is tougher and clearer about everything.
01/17/2006
03:25

Age-Defying Pancakes
The Colbert ReportS2

Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Pancakes make Stephen feel good and think clear.
01/17/2006
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