The Colbert Report

Colbert Platinum - $1,000 Dishes

Season 5 • 05/13/2009

Stephen eats a $1,000 omelet, a $1,000 pizza, and finishes it with a $1,000 sundae.

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03:42

Cuba/US Trade Relations - Julia Sweig
The Colbert ReportS5

Julia Sweig explains why America should bother opening trade relations with Cuba.
05/12/2009
04:27

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Re-Brand the GOP
The Colbert ReportS5

The GOP needs to make painful, soul-searching, superficial changes to their image without altering anything inside.
05/12/2009
00:14

You Are a Dummy
The Colbert ReportS5

If you were offended by any part of the show, it's probably when Stephen called you dumb, dummy.
05/12/2009
06:03

Ron Howard
The Colbert ReportS5

Ron Howard tells Stephen that "Angels & Demons" is about Robert Langdon saving the church, even though Jesus already did that.
05/12/2009
02:48

Our Plan in Havana
The Colbert ReportS5

Europeans try to take Americans' Cuba cash by lifting trade restrictions before the US.
05/12/2009
00:28

Intro - 5/13/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The government has a new method for funding health care, and Michael Pollan defends food.
05/13/2009
04:49

Stephen's Coke Party Protest
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is already twitching with excitement over his Coke-fueled party to protest the soda tax.
05/13/2009
02:05

Robert Gibbs Hates Ringing Cell Phones
The Colbert ReportS5

Ringing cell phones distract from the illumination of Press Secretary Robert Gibbs' White House briefing.
05/13/2009
05:18

Michael Pollan
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Pollan advises that the best food to eat is anything with less than five ingredients in it.
05/13/2009
00:12

Stephen Colbert Is Awesome
The Colbert ReportS5

If you didn't notice tonight's theme, it was "Stephen Colbert is awesome."
05/13/2009
06:17

Colbert Platinum - $1,000 Dishes
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's $1,000 omelet, $1,000 pizza and $1,000 sundae were worth every cent he didn't pay.
05/13/2009
05:03

Yahweh or No Way - Father Cutie & Miss California
The Colbert ReportS5

God wants priests to be celibate, and Miss California, Carrie Prejean, might be the second coming.
05/14/2009
01:26

Caveman Porn Stash
The Colbert ReportS5

German archaeologists discover a caveman's porn sculpture 35,000 years after he dies.
05/14/2009
03:41

DonorsChoose.org Donations
The Colbert ReportS5

The five branches of the military are in a tight race for your donations, and kids from the schools you're funding send Stephen their art.
05/14/2009
00:31

Intro - 5/14/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Donald Trump allows Miss California to keep her crown, the DonorsChoose competition continues, and Yusuf performs.
05/14/2009
05:00

Yusuf
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen calls Yusuf a coward while telling him he loves him at the same time.
05/14/2009
04:53

The Word - Tough Cell
The Colbert ReportS5

Instead of putting Al Qaeda terrorists in our neighborhoods, we can send them to Dick Cheney's ranch.
05/18/2009
05:47

Meghan McCain
The Colbert ReportS5

Meghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.
05/18/2009
05:24

ThreatDown - Charity, Casual Jesus & Robot Teachers
The Colbert ReportS5

The Christian Children's Fund changes its name, Jesus goes casual, and Japan unveils a scary robot teacher.
05/18/2009
00:31

Intro - 5/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Evidently, you can't leave prisoners at Gitmo, and the Christian Children's Foundation changes its name.
05/18/2009
00:13

Sign Off - Internal Clock
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's internal clock is telling him it's time to go.
05/18/2009
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