The Colbert Report

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung

Season 5 • 04/27/2009

Trees, leave our lungs alone.

More

Watching

05:14

The Word - Brunt Double
The Colbert ReportS5

Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
04/23/2009
00:39

Intro - 4/23/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
04/23/2009
03:27

Illegitimate Grandson of an Alligator
The Colbert ReportS5

Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
04/23/2009
05:47

Elizabeth Bintliff
The Colbert ReportS5

Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
04/23/2009
04:26

America Does Not Swear On Camera
The Colbert ReportS5

Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
04/23/2009
02:04

Days of Swine and Doses
The Colbert ReportS5

The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
04/27/2009
06:58

Shout Out - Kids Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
04/27/2009
03:36

The Decemberists
The Colbert ReportS5

Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
04/27/2009
00:31

Intro - 4/27/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Swine flu rages, and The Decemberists stop by and officially sell out.
04/27/2009
02:11

A Rare Correction - Stephen Eats an Ewok
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wasn't completely honest when he said he'd never eat an Ewok.
04/27/2009
01:43

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung
The Colbert ReportS5

Christmas trees are supposed to warm the cockles of our hearts, not infest the alveoli of our lungs.
04/27/2009
04:15

Daniel Gross
The Colbert ReportS5

Daniel Gross urges rich cable TV personalities to buy steaks, cigars and whiskey.
04/28/2009
01:36

Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey Flu
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
04/28/2009
00:12

No Animals Were Harmed
The Colbert ReportS5

No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
04/28/2009
00:33

Intro - 4/28/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
04/28/2009
02:30

Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Correspondents
The Colbert ReportS5

After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
04/28/2009
05:10

Foreign Reporting - Richard Engel
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
04/28/2009
00:30

Intro - 4/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
04/29/2009
00:14

Feet Teeth
The Colbert ReportS5

Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
04/29/2009
04:51

Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse Now
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
04/29/2009
05:08

David Kessler
The Colbert ReportS5

David Kessler wants to save lives by getting Americans to eat less.
04/29/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

South Park: The End of Obesity Trailer

South Park takes on the weight-loss drug craze in this exclusive event, streaming May 24 on Paramount+.
05/15/2024
Trailer
00:30

The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools

Jordan Klepper investigates useful idiocy on The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools, premiering on May 20 at 11:30 PM on Comedy Central.
05/14/2024
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023