The Colbert Report

Predictions

Season 2 • 03/13/2006

The Colbert Report is ready to project that the winner of the next war will be Iran.

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Watching

00:36

Intro - 3/9/06
The Colbert ReportS2

America is the land of "do-it-yourself," if by "it" you mean "driving to Home Depot and picking up a bunch of undocumented day laborers."
03/09/2006
03:36

Canadian Baseball?
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen isn't taking Canada's victory over the United States in the World Baseball Classic lightly.
03/09/2006
06:08

Better Know a District - California's 39th District - Linda Sanchez
The Colbert ReportS2

Just because Linda Sanchez said she took money from Jack Abramoff in Spanish doesn't mean she didn't say it.
03/09/2006
03:06

The Word - D.I.Y.
The Colbert ReportS2

If you want anything you imagine a government should provide, the administration's message is clear -- do it yourself.
03/09/2006
06:11

Lorraine Bracco
The Colbert ReportS2

The only thing Lorraine Bracco is not looking forward to about "The Sopranos" is putting on pantyhose every time she has to go into that office.
03/09/2006
06:22

Christopher Buckley
The Colbert ReportS2

Christopher Buckley and Jack Abramoff may dress differently, but otherwise, they are very similar.
03/13/2006
02:41

The Word - Sidney Poitier
The Colbert ReportS2

The United Arab Emirates emirs were supposed to be the Sidney Poitiers of the Arab people.
03/13/2006
01:45

Not Gay
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants all the supporters of the homosexual agenda to respect his choice to be "not gay."
03/13/2006
01:24

Sign Off - Mad Magazine
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen honors the inventor of the Mad Magazine fold-in, Al Jaffee.
03/13/2006
00:24

Intro - 3/13/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight, Stephen takes "The Sopranos" to task, loses money on March Madness and interviews author Christopher Buckley.
03/13/2006
02:08

Predictions
The Colbert ReportS2

Based on the Southern Republican Leadership Conference straw poll, The Colbert Report predicts that Bill Frist will win the presidential election in 2008.
03/13/2006
06:33

Keith Olbermann
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen thinks being a bully is just another way of getting your points across passionately.
03/14/2006
03:50

Was It Really That Bad? - Before Unions
The Colbert ReportS2

You know what prevents childhood obesity? A 19-hour shift at the mills.
03/14/2006
02:54

The Word - Scapegoat
The Colbert ReportS2

The whole point of the scapegoat is ruined if the goat wanders back into the village and testifies against the high priest.
03/14/2006
02:39

Trusting the Media
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen presents some examples of the mainstream media's sublimi-Nazi cropaganda.
03/14/2006
00:27

Intro - 3/14/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wonders how Keith Olbermann escaped the gravitational pull of Chris Matthews' head long enough to appear on The Colbert Report.
03/14/2006
02:25

HipHopKetball II: The ReJazzebration Remix '06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen previews the sequel to his documentary, "Hiphopketball: A Jazzebration," with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
03/14/2006
00:07

Fract - Hawaii
The Colbert ReportS2

Hawaii was the last state admitted to the union.
03/14/2006
01:26

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Bear Wrestling
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen hopes that bears stay out of high school and college athletics.
03/15/2006
00:34

Intro - 3/15/06
The Colbert ReportS2

How many children must a man father before you call him a man? Turns out the answer is around 20.
03/15/2006
03:48

Al Franken Fields Calls
The Colbert ReportS2

Al Franken speculates on why Bill O'Reilly doesn't do USO tours.
03/15/2006
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