The Colbert Report

Intro - 7/29/09

Season 5 • 07/29/2009

What's the state of racism in America? Stephen is going to go with Alabama.

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04:57

Womb Raiders - Orly Taitz
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thanks Orly Taitz for being one of the few people willing to compare the Obama administration to Nazi Germany.
07/28/2009
05:45

Arianna Huffington
The Colbert ReportS5

Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.
07/28/2009
02:11

President Obama's Teachable Moment
The Colbert ReportS5

Obama's teaching: if you arrest a black man under questionable circumstances, you get to have a beer with the president.
07/28/2009
00:20

Sign Off - Devil's Tricks
The Colbert ReportS5

One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
07/28/2009
06:18

Womb Raiders - The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama's Birth
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants to hear from one of the sperm that witnessed President Obama's conception in order to verify his birthplace.
07/28/2009
03:19

Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic Baseball
The Colbert ReportS5

A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
07/29/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Watch Without Blinking
The Colbert ReportS5

If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
07/29/2009
03:04

Frank the Roommate
The Colbert ReportS5

After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
07/29/2009
05:17

Kevin Baker
The Colbert ReportS5

Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
07/29/2009
06:51

The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
The Colbert ReportS5

Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
07/29/2009
00:31

Intro - 7/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.
07/29/2009
02:49

White House Beer Summit
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
07/30/2009
00:14

Intro - 7/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
07/30/2009
04:37

Kathryn Bigelow
The Colbert ReportS5

Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
07/30/2009
03:55

Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!
The Colbert ReportS5

Educators ban man-words from textbooks, and Stephen discovers America's newest pop sensation, Movits!
07/30/2009
02:06

Sign Off - Taco Bell Spokesdog
The Colbert ReportS5

Taco Bell's beloved spokesdog, Gidget, is on a farm upstate, playing with other dogs that are dead.
07/30/2009
05:55

MeTunes - Hit of the Summer
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer.
07/30/2009
05:07

Tony Zinni
The Colbert ReportS5

General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
08/03/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
08/03/2009
05:14

Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health Care
The Colbert ReportS5

Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
08/03/2009
04:46

Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
The Colbert ReportS5

The Fairfax County School Board nails a teen junkie for taking birth control in the cafeteria.
08/03/2009
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