The Colbert Report

The Word - Two Birds With One Drone

Season 8 • 05/31/2012

Barack Obama reviews baseball cards with pictures and stats on suspected terrorists.

More

Watching

05:45

Charlize Theron
The Colbert ReportS8

Actress Charlize Theron discusses fairy tales, beauty, and Stephen's prizewinning switch from handsome man to hot woman.
05/29/2012
00:29

Intro - 5/30/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The U.N. makes a shocking announcement, Alan Alda gives scientists an easy task, and Facebook stock continues to fall.
05/30/2012
03:44

Mexico's Drug & Potato Chip Wars
The Colbert ReportS8

Mexico's Knights Templar cartel sets fire to PepsiCo warehouses, making enemies of the most powerful American names in chip trafficking.
05/30/2012
06:09

Alan Alda
The Colbert ReportS8

Actor Alan Alda discusses good business models, the World Science Festival and his international Flame Challenge.
05/30/2012
00:11

Sign Off - Stephen's Matchbox
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen strikes a match and inspects the flame.
05/30/2012
04:21

Buy Best-Selling "I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)"
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen's clearly nonfiction book about a talking, soul-searching pole hits two best-selling lists, while Bill O'Reilly's book lags behind.
05/31/2012
02:02

Barack Obama's Righteous Drone Strikes
The Colbert ReportS8

The government takes out Al Qaeda's "number two," and Barack Obama finds an alternative to shutting down Guantanamo Bay.
05/31/2012
05:47

Jack Hitt
The Colbert ReportS8

Author Jack Hitt explores America's self-made history, job creators and the cyclical nature of amateurism.
05/31/2012
03:55

Michael Bloomberg's Super-Sized Soda Scheme
The Colbert ReportS8

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to ban super-sized sodas, even though America hasn't achieved type-3 diabetes yet.
05/31/2012
00:51

Sign Off - Welcome Baby Gwinn!
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen suspects that one of his writers has broken the strict, company abstinence pledge.
05/31/2012
03:31

The Word - Two Birds With One Drone
The Colbert ReportS8

The Obama administration reasons that anyone in a strike zone is likely Al Qaeda, so no one has to feel guilty about civilian casualties.
05/31/2012
05:22

The Word - Sink or Swim
The Colbert ReportS8

Scientists predict an economy-destroying, 39-inch sea level rise, but North Carolina drafts a law to make it eight inches.
06/04/2012
04:58

Better Know a District - Represent-O-Map 6000 & Georgia's 5th
The Colbert ReportS8

Nancy Pelosi and the Represent-O-Map 6000 boost representative bookings, and Stephen profiles Georgia's 5th congressional district.
06/04/2012
03:38

Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-Talk
The Colbert ReportS8

America's leaders speak the high school language of "angry glares at the dinner table," while Barack Obama talks like an eighth-grader.
06/04/2012
06:43

John Lewis
The Colbert ReportS8

Congressman John Lewis recalls the 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery March, America's segregation and his mentor Martin Luther King, Jr.
06/04/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight.
06/04/2012
04:12

CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
The Colbert ReportS8

Zombie-like attacks suggest a growing urban trend, but America's top emergency doctors declare that zombies do not exist.
06/05/2012
06:50

Tip/Wag - Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied Toys
The Colbert ReportS8

Japanese diet glasses reduce Oreo intake, America is the gold standard of sperm, and Dutch artist Bart Jansen converts his dead cat into a model helicopter.
06/05/2012
00:35

Intro - 6/5/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The U.S. reveals its latest export, traditional marriage faces assault, and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden talks about her children's book.
06/05/2012
03:40

Self-Marriage Problems
The Colbert ReportS8

A North Dakota woman marries herself, and Stephen envisions all the societal pressure once self-marriage becomes the norm.
06/05/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight.
06/05/2012
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022