The Colbert Report

Marrying Snakes

Season 2 • 06/20/2006

Stephen has no problem with people marrying snakes, as long as they're not marrying gay snakes.

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04:53

ThreatDown - The Homo-Sexy Edition
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen counts down the things that are trying to make him gay -- Congress, if you want to preserve marriage, you will ban "Fight Club."
06/19/2006
03:52

Bill Gates
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen suggests the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation donate their money to the Stephen & Melinda Gates foundation.
06/19/2006
03:11

The Word - Risky Business
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants a generation of daredevils, custom built to thrive in our brave new world who won't need social security and who'll want to go to Iraq for spring break.
06/19/2006
00:33

Intro - 6/19/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Bill Gates leaves Microsoft, scientists find a genetic link to risk-taking, and Stephen talks with "Ask a Mexican" columnist, Gustavo Arellano.
06/19/2006
05:29

Bart Ehrman
The Colbert ReportS2

Bart Ehrman discusses the history of the word of Jesus and Stephen offers him irrefutable logic.
06/20/2006
00:35

Intro - 6/20/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Buying an SUV from GM might save you on gas, Stephen questions whether government is too big and Bart Ehrman stop by to talk about his book, "Misquoting Jesus."
06/20/2006
03:44

Stephen Makes it Simple - Government
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen navigates the question of big government versus small government with some help from Lassie and Godzilla.
06/20/2006
01:16

American Goal
The Colbert ReportS2

The US soccer team tied the Italians 1-1. That's as good as a win!
06/20/2006
00:12

Sign Off - I'll call you
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's going to call. No, seriously.
06/20/2006
03:36

The Word - Everything Must Go
The Colbert ReportS2

In order to save Mother Earth, we must extract and burn all the fuel she has.
06/20/2006
04:41

Marrying Snakes
The Colbert ReportS2

Once you're hitched to a snake, honeymoon somewhere within driving distance because things can get chaotic if you bring "Snakes on a Plane."
06/20/2006
01:16

Truthiness Cheer
The Colbert ReportS2

America's cheerleading teens are cheering about truthiness.
06/21/2006
05:20

Bay Buchanan
The Colbert ReportS2

Bay Buchanan is dedicated to building a fence along the 2,000 mile border between the U.S. and Mexico.
06/21/2006
03:01

Don't Mess With Jesus
The Colbert ReportS2

The brown-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy on "Fox and Friends" believes a monkey with a typewriter could type the Bible.
06/21/2006
03:37

Tip/Wag - Episcopal Church
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tips his hat to the U.S. Mint and Gustav Klimt, but wags his finger at the Episcopal church, Lego and scientists.
06/21/2006
00:11

Sign Off - Insane Clown
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will be the insane clown hovering over your bed with a knife in your dreams.
06/21/2006
00:39

Intro - 6/21/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen explores the best thing about soccer, reports on a female Episcopal bishop, and talks to Bay Buchanan about his committee to get immigrants out of America.
06/21/2006
04:12

World Cup Trash Talk - Alexi Lalas
The Colbert ReportS2

Soccer star Alexi Lalas helps Stephen trash talk other teams in preparation for the World Cup.
06/21/2006
00:34

Intro - 6/22/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen dismisses Stephen Hawking, interviews Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette, and determines what lessons from Hurricane Katrina we can ignore this hurricane season.
06/22/2006
00:07

Sign Off - Not Winning Prizes
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knows he's not going to win any prizes for saying goodnight.
06/22/2006
02:58

The Word - Cut and Run
The Colbert ReportS2

If humans must leave earth because it can no longer sustain life, Stephen will not flee -- he has an appointment with Jesus Christ.
06/22/2006
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