The Colbert Report

Credit Check

Season 5 • 05/11/2009

Stephen's credit card has been pre-approved for its own credit card.

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03:31

Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation
The Colbert ReportS5

Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
05/07/2009
06:35

Mitchell Joachim
The Colbert ReportS5

Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
05/07/2009
00:14

Spay and Neuter Your Pets
The Colbert ReportS5

Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
05/07/2009
04:02

Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree
The Colbert ReportS5

Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
05/07/2009
00:15

Sign Off - Unicorn Dealership
The Colbert ReportS5

If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
05/11/2009
00:30

Intro - 5/11/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
05/11/2009
02:53

Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye
The Colbert ReportS5

The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
05/11/2009
03:22

Stephen's Fancy Feast
The Colbert ReportS5

When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
05/11/2009
04:05

Credit Card Industry Regulation - Tamara Draut
The Colbert ReportS5

Tamara Draut believes industry regulation is necessary now that Americans are using credit for basic necessities.
05/11/2009
04:29

Jeff Daniels
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Daniels' explains how the play "God of Carnage" shows what happens once the mask of civility is taken away.
05/11/2009
03:36

Credit Check
The Colbert ReportS5

Credit card companies are part of an honest industry just trying to make 30% on a buck.
05/11/2009
01:35

Howard's End
The Colbert ReportS5

The Vatican's hesitation to boycott Ron Howard's movie, "Angels & Demons," shocks and dismays Stephen.
05/12/2009
00:32

Intro - 5/12/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The embargo on Cuba could be lifted, and Ron Howard discusses his directorial work on the most anti-Catholic film since "Sister Act 2."
05/12/2009
03:42

Cuba/US Trade Relations - Julia Sweig
The Colbert ReportS5

Julia Sweig explains why America should bother opening trade relations with Cuba.
05/12/2009
04:27

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Re-Brand the GOP
The Colbert ReportS5

The GOP needs to make painful, soul-searching, superficial changes to their image without altering anything inside.
05/12/2009
00:14

You Are a Dummy
The Colbert ReportS5

If you were offended by any part of the show, it's probably when Stephen called you dumb, dummy.
05/12/2009
06:03

Ron Howard
The Colbert ReportS5

Ron Howard tells Stephen that "Angels & Demons" is about Robert Langdon saving the church, even though Jesus already did that.
05/12/2009
02:48

Our Plan in Havana
The Colbert ReportS5

Europeans try to take Americans' Cuba cash by lifting trade restrictions before the US.
05/12/2009
00:28

Intro - 5/13/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The government has a new method for funding health care, and Michael Pollan defends food.
05/13/2009
04:49

Stephen's Coke Party Protest
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is already twitching with excitement over his Coke-fueled party to protest the soda tax.
05/13/2009
06:17

Colbert Platinum - $1,000 Dishes
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's $1,000 omelet, $1,000 pizza and $1,000 sundae were worth every cent he didn't pay.
05/13/2009
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