The Colbert Report

Dancing With the Stars

Season 3 • 03/28/2007

Last night featured a particularly riveting episode of "Dancing With the Stars."

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07:26

Madeleine Albright
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Though Stephen is excited for the imminent World War III, Madeleine Albright explains that Armageddon is not exactly a foreign policy.
03/27/2007
03:19

Sean Penn Unleashes on President Bush
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Stephen challenges Sean Penn to a battle of the metaphors after Penn's attack on the president.
03/27/2007
03:25

Tip/Wag - Drug Dealers
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Stephen wags his finger at drug dealers and tips his cap to GLAAD and mansheep.
03/27/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/2707
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Sean Penn insults the president, Stephen asks if we should go to war with Iran, and guest James Fallows discusses what went wrong in Iraq.
03/27/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Going to Bed Angry
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Stephen encourages his audience not to go to bed angry with each other.
03/28/2007
05:44

Jabari Asim
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Stephen suggests blaming the pilgrims for the origin of the "N" Word.
03/28/2007
03:42

Claim to the Arctic
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Since no one yet has territorial claims to the South Pole, Stephen suggests planting an American flag and a Colbert Nation flag.
03/28/2007
03:47

The Word - Monkey Business
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With scientists trying to prove that morality has a biological basis, Stephen thinks it's about time for religion to take things away from science.
03/28/2007
00:33

Intro - 3/28/07
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Stephen proves that evolution does not exist, says which countries are threatening America, and interviews author Jabari Asim.
03/28/2007
04:47

The Axis of Evil of the Week
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Italy exchanged five Taliban members for an Italian journalist, bestowing upon themselves the honor of being the third member of the Axis of Evil for the week.
03/28/2007
01:37

Dancing With the Stars
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Stephen knows who's behind supermodel Paulina Porizkova getting voted off "Dancing With the Stars."
03/28/2007
02:14

Equal Rights
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Feminists can burn their bras, but they won't get the one Stephen's wearing.
03/29/2007
01:15

Alpha Dog of the Week - Toby
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This week's Alpha Dog is an actual dog, who saved his owner's life by doing the Heimlich.
03/29/2007
03:23

The Word - Lemon-Raid
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We're not going to lose the Iraq war because for all we know, we may have already won.
03/29/2007
05:22

Clive James
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Clive James, author of "Cultural Amnesia," asks Stephen if he has to put some thought into appearing so thoughtless.
03/29/2007
04:03

Nightgown Novel Model
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If Stephen knows anything about the ladies, it's that they long to escape into a world of romance.
03/29/2007
00:21

Sign Off - It's Been Real
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Stephen gives the audience a reality check.
03/29/2007
03:16

Strolling in Baghdad
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John McCain claps his hands and believes that Baghdad is safe for Americans.
03/29/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/29/07
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Stephen discusses cultural amnesia with author Clive James and Congress tries to bring back the Equal Rights Amendment.
03/29/2007
00:11

Sign Off - Goodnight, Ladies
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Stephen says goodnight -- to the ladies.
04/09/2007
00:56

Formula 401K
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Use Stephen's Formula 401K, and you'll have a dependent by next tax season.
04/09/2007
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