The Colbert Report

Tip/Wag - Drug Dealers

Season 3 • 03/27/2007

Scientists: if you're going to crossbreed humans, do it with animals cooler than sheep.

More

Watching

02:09

Torture Gonzales
The Colbert ReportS3

How dare Chuck Hagel say we're living in a monarchy? The president should confiscate his lands and deny his peerage.
03/26/2007
03:48

Stephen Colbert Day
The Colbert ReportS3

Oshawa, Ontario celebrates Stephen Colbert Day with a look-a-like contest.
03/26/2007
00:35

Intro - 3/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to John Perry Barlow about digital free speech and brings you highlights from Stephen Colbert Day in Oshawa, Ontario.
03/26/2007
05:20

For Your Editing Pleasure
The Colbert ReportS3

Gwen Ifill interviews Stephen, giving everyone a chance to twist his words through editing.
03/26/2007
00:31

Sign Off - Photo-Op
The Colbert ReportS3

Don't forget to use the red-eye filter when you take a picture of Stephen.
03/26/2007
05:21

John Perry Barlow
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen draws a chart for John Perry Barlow explaining that you don't bite the hand that feeds you.
03/26/2007
05:40

James Fallows
The Colbert ReportS3

Author James Fallows explains to Stephen the difference between being a children's storybook writer and a strategist for the United States.
03/27/2007
07:26

Madeleine Albright
The Colbert ReportS3

Though Stephen is excited for the imminent World War III, Madeleine Albright explains that Armageddon is not exactly a foreign policy.
03/27/2007
03:19

Sean Penn Unleashes on President Bush
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen challenges Sean Penn to a battle of the metaphors after Penn's attack on the president.
03/27/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/2707
The Colbert ReportS3

Sean Penn insults the president, Stephen asks if we should go to war with Iran, and guest James Fallows discusses what went wrong in Iraq.
03/27/2007
03:25

Tip/Wag - Drug Dealers
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wags his finger at drug dealers and tips his cap to GLAAD and mansheep.
03/27/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Going to Bed Angry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen encourages his audience not to go to bed angry with each other.
03/28/2007
05:44

Jabari Asim
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests blaming the pilgrims for the origin of the "N" Word.
03/28/2007
03:42

Claim to the Arctic
The Colbert ReportS3

Since no one yet has territorial claims to the South Pole, Stephen suggests planting an American flag and a Colbert Nation flag.
03/28/2007
03:47

The Word - Monkey Business
The Colbert ReportS3

With scientists trying to prove that morality has a biological basis, Stephen thinks it's about time for religion to take things away from science.
03/28/2007
00:33

Intro - 3/28/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen proves that evolution does not exist, says which countries are threatening America, and interviews author Jabari Asim.
03/28/2007
01:37

Dancing With the Stars
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen knows who's behind supermodel Paulina Porizkova getting voted off "Dancing With the Stars."
03/28/2007
04:47

The Axis of Evil of the Week
The Colbert ReportS3

Italy exchanged five Taliban members for an Italian journalist, bestowing upon themselves the honor of being the third member of the Axis of Evil for the week.
03/28/2007
02:14

Equal Rights
The Colbert ReportS3

Feminists can burn their bras, but they won't get the one Stephen's wearing.
03/29/2007
01:15

Alpha Dog of the Week - Toby
The Colbert ReportS3

This week's Alpha Dog is an actual dog, who saved his owner's life by doing the Heimlich.
03/29/2007
03:23

The Word - Lemon-Raid
The Colbert ReportS3

We're not going to lose the Iraq war because for all we know, we may have already won.
03/29/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022