The Colbert Report

Claim to the Arctic

Season 3 • 03/28/2007

Steven wants America to lay claim to both the Arctic and the Antarctic.

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07:26

Madeleine Albright
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Though Stephen is excited for the imminent World War III, Madeleine Albright explains that Armageddon is not exactly a foreign policy.
03/27/2007
03:19

Sean Penn Unleashes on President Bush
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Stephen challenges Sean Penn to a battle of the metaphors after Penn's attack on the president.
03/27/2007
03:25

Tip/Wag - Drug Dealers
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Stephen wags his finger at drug dealers and tips his cap to GLAAD and mansheep.
03/27/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/2707
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Sean Penn insults the president, Stephen asks if we should go to war with Iran, and guest James Fallows discusses what went wrong in Iraq.
03/27/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Going to Bed Angry
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Stephen encourages his audience not to go to bed angry with each other.
03/28/2007
05:44

Jabari Asim
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Stephen suggests blaming the pilgrims for the origin of the "N" Word.
03/28/2007
03:47

The Word - Monkey Business
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With scientists trying to prove that morality has a biological basis, Stephen thinks it's about time for religion to take things away from science.
03/28/2007
00:33

Intro - 3/28/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen proves that evolution does not exist, says which countries are threatening America, and interviews author Jabari Asim.
03/28/2007
01:37

Dancing With the Stars
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Stephen knows who's behind supermodel Paulina Porizkova getting voted off "Dancing With the Stars."
03/28/2007
04:47

The Axis of Evil of the Week
The Colbert ReportS3

Italy exchanged five Taliban members for an Italian journalist, bestowing upon themselves the honor of being the third member of the Axis of Evil for the week.
03/28/2007
03:42

Claim to the Arctic
The Colbert ReportS3

Since no one yet has territorial claims to the South Pole, Stephen suggests planting an American flag and a Colbert Nation flag.
03/28/2007
02:14

Equal Rights
The Colbert ReportS3

Feminists can burn their bras, but they won't get the one Stephen's wearing.
03/29/2007
01:15

Alpha Dog of the Week - Toby
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This week's Alpha Dog is an actual dog, who saved his owner's life by doing the Heimlich.
03/29/2007
03:23

The Word - Lemon-Raid
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We're not going to lose the Iraq war because for all we know, we may have already won.
03/29/2007
05:22

Clive James
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Clive James, author of "Cultural Amnesia," asks Stephen if he has to put some thought into appearing so thoughtless.
03/29/2007
04:03

Nightgown Novel Model
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If Stephen knows anything about the ladies, it's that they long to escape into a world of romance.
03/29/2007
00:21

Sign Off - It's Been Real
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen gives the audience a reality check.
03/29/2007
03:16

Strolling in Baghdad
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John McCain claps his hands and believes that Baghdad is safe for Americans.
03/29/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/29/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses cultural amnesia with author Clive James and Congress tries to bring back the Equal Rights Amendment.
03/29/2007
00:11

Sign Off - Goodnight, Ladies
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Stephen says goodnight -- to the ladies.
04/09/2007
00:56

Formula 401K
The Colbert ReportS3

Use Stephen's Formula 401K, and you'll have a dependent by next tax season.
04/09/2007
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