The Colbert Report

Donald Shields

Season 3 • 03/13/2007

Federal prosecutors are to pleasure the president.

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01:47

Sign Off - Captain America Shield
The Colbert ReportS3

Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert.
03/12/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Bill Gates worries about American competitiveness, high school students get an F in religion and Stephen interviews New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof.
03/12/2007
03:19

Newt Gingrich's Extramarital Affair
The Colbert ReportS3

Newt Gingrich had the courage to lead the impeachment of Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky while having an affair of his own.
03/12/2007
06:25

Nicholas Kristof
The Colbert ReportS3

The New York Times columnist Nicolas Kristof complains that Americans aren't charitable enough, even though Stephen let him on his show.
03/12/2007
06:01

Michael Eric Dyson
The Colbert ReportS3

Michael Eric Dyson explains the difference between racism and bigotry and assures Stephen that he's probably got a few black relatives.
03/13/2007
02:19

Willie Nelson's Cobbler
The Colbert ReportS3

Upon discovering that Ben and Jerry's also named an ice cream after Willie Nelson, Stephen launches a campaign to expose Nelson for who he really is.
03/13/2007
03:53

Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - 300
The Colbert ReportS3

Pop culture is a threat to our youth, with the exception of the film "300".
03/13/2007
02:11

Time Travel
The Colbert ReportS3

Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
03/13/2007
00:08

The Word - Goodnight
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Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
03/13/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/13/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
03/13/2007
04:58

Donald Shields
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
03/13/2007
02:55

Sport Report - NCAA
The Colbert ReportS3

Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
03/14/2007
00:59

Sign Off - United We Lick
The Colbert ReportS3

Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
03/14/2007
04:15

When Ancestors Attack - Barack Obama
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Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
03/14/2007
03:20

The Word - High Fidelity
The Colbert ReportS3

Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
03/14/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/14/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
03/14/2007
01:23

Rocky Mountain High
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As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
03/14/2007
05:39

Ed Viesturs
The Colbert ReportS3

Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
03/14/2007
06:18

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
03/15/2007
03:26

St. Patrick's Day
The Colbert ReportS3

St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
03/15/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Candy
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
03/15/2007
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