The Colbert Report

Time Travel

Season 3 • 03/13/2007

Scientists claim that time travel is impossible, but Stephen knows the truth.

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01:47

Sign Off - Captain America Shield
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Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert.
03/12/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Bill Gates worries about American competitiveness, high school students get an F in religion and Stephen interviews New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof.
03/12/2007
03:19

Newt Gingrich's Extramarital Affair
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Newt Gingrich had the courage to lead the impeachment of Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky while having an affair of his own.
03/12/2007
06:25

Nicholas Kristof
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The New York Times columnist Nicolas Kristof complains that Americans aren't charitable enough, even though Stephen let him on his show.
03/12/2007
06:01

Michael Eric Dyson
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Michael Eric Dyson explains the difference between racism and bigotry and assures Stephen that he's probably got a few black relatives.
03/13/2007
02:19

Willie Nelson's Cobbler
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Upon discovering that Ben and Jerry's also named an ice cream after Willie Nelson, Stephen launches a campaign to expose Nelson for who he really is.
03/13/2007
03:53

Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - 300
The Colbert ReportS3

Pop culture is a threat to our youth, with the exception of the film "300".
03/13/2007
00:08

The Word - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
03/13/2007
04:58

Donald Shields
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Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
03/13/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/13/07
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The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
03/13/2007
02:11

Time Travel
The Colbert ReportS3

Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
03/13/2007
02:55

Sport Report - NCAA
The Colbert ReportS3

Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
03/14/2007
00:59

Sign Off - United We Lick
The Colbert ReportS3

Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
03/14/2007
04:15

When Ancestors Attack - Barack Obama
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Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
03/14/2007
03:20

The Word - High Fidelity
The Colbert ReportS3

Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
03/14/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/14/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
03/14/2007
01:23

Rocky Mountain High
The Colbert ReportS3

As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
03/14/2007
05:39

Ed Viesturs
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Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
03/14/2007
06:18

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
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Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
03/15/2007
03:26

St. Patrick's Day
The Colbert ReportS3

St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
03/15/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Candy
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
03/15/2007
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