The Colbert Report

Sign Off - United We Lick

Season 3 • 03/14/2007

If only Mama Cass had been alive to taste AmeriCone Dream.

More

Watching

02:11

Time Travel
The Colbert ReportS3

Scientists claim that time travel is impossible; Stephen proves them wrong by traveling forward in time.
03/13/2007
00:08

The Word - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight's Word is about the only thing Stephen has time for.
03/13/2007
04:58

Donald Shields
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Donald Shields talks about the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. According to Stephen, they should have pleasured the president.
03/13/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/13/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The firing of eight U.S. attorneys, America's biggest movie and guest Michael Eric Dyson -- tonight on The Report.
03/13/2007
02:55

Sport Report - NCAA
The Colbert ReportS3

Speaking of non-drug-related euphoria, Stephen is simply mentally unbalanced about March Madness.
03/14/2007
04:15

When Ancestors Attack - Barack Obama
The Colbert ReportS3

Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
03/14/2007
03:20

The Word - High Fidelity
The Colbert ReportS3

Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
03/14/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/14/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
03/14/2007
01:23

Rocky Mountain High
The Colbert ReportS3

As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
03/14/2007
05:39

Ed Viesturs
The Colbert ReportS3

Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
03/14/2007
00:59

Sign Off - United We Lick
The Colbert ReportS3

Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
03/14/2007
06:18

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
03/15/2007
03:26

St. Patrick's Day
The Colbert ReportS3

St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
03/15/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Candy
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
03/15/2007
00:34

Intro - 3/15/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Ayaan Hirsi Ali about fundamentalist Islam, and President Bush returns from his trip to Latin America.
03/15/2007
06:00

Better Know a District - Illinois' 17th - Phil Hare
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes his vitamin E -- a couple of caplets in the mouth keeps the blood flow going south.
03/15/2007
02:35

Emanuel Attacks Stephen
The Colbert ReportS3

Congressman Rahm Emanuel tells freshman students to avoid Stephen, and Stephen fights back by offering the congressman a severed finger.
03/19/2007
01:22

Alpha Dog of the Week - Pennies
The Colbert ReportS3

After getting charged triple the amount of his normal electric bill, Robert Hancock paid the damage in pennies and is thus named Alpha Dog of the Week.
03/19/2007
01:01

Willie Nelson Tomorrow
The Colbert ReportS3

In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
03/19/2007
06:07

Jerome Groopman
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
03/19/2007
03:03

The Word - Pound of Flesh
The Colbert ReportS3

South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
03/19/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022