The Colbert Report

ThreatDown - Scottish Surgeons

Season 3 • 07/30/2007

Scottish surgeons grafted skin from sharks onto a failed suicide bomber, leading to a future of shark-terrorist hybrids.

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00:32

Intro - 7/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

North Dakota seeks to legalize hemp farming, a goddess is stripped of her title, and Stephen asks Robert Shrum whether he advised Kerry to flip or to flop.
07/26/2007
06:32

Bob Shrum
The Colbert ReportS3

Democratic campaign strategist Bob Shrum wants to know if Stephen's wrist injury has made him reconsider his position on universal health care.
07/26/2007
06:04

Industrial Hemp & Medical Marijuana - Aaron Houston
The Colbert ReportS3

Medical marijuana advocate Aaron Houston tells Stephen the only thing you'd get from smoking hemp is the headache of your life.
07/26/2007
03:22

Advice to the Gods - Nepalese Pre-Teen Goddesses
The Colbert ReportS3

A top Kumari -- a pre-teen girl Nepalese Buddhists worship as a goddess -- was recently stripped of her divinity for visiting the United States.
07/26/2007
03:35

How Did Stephen Break His Wrist?
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's left wrist is in a cast, though there's some confusion about what might have caused the injury.
07/26/2007
02:51

Wrist Violence - Glorification
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen dispels the rumor that he injured his wrist while punching out Korean strongman Kim Jong-il.
07/30/2007
05:29

Evan Osnos
The Colbert ReportS3

Chicago Tribune's Beijing Bureau Chief, Evan Osnos, argues that the American demand for cashmere has caused pollution clouds to travel from China to American soil.
07/30/2007
02:48

The Word - Solidarity
The Colbert ReportS3

By hiring the homeless to picket for them, carpenters are protesting low wages and no benefits with low wages and no benefits.
07/30/2007
02:55

Pollution Immigration
The Colbert ReportS3

Polluted air from Asia, or "kung fumes," are taking away emphysema-related deaths from hardworking American pollutants.
07/30/2007
00:27

Intro - 7/30/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Stephen suggests a new picketing strategy for unions, looks at botulism in our chili and interviews Chicago Tribune's Beijing Bureau Chief, Evan Osnos.
07/30/2007
05:24

ThreatDown - Scottish Surgeons
The Colbert ReportS3

Thanks to Scottish surgeons, the only way America can protect its ports is by crossbreeding dolphins with Homeland Security director Michael Chertoff.
07/30/2007
02:24

The Word - Special Prosecutor
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen argues that if Alberto Gonzales believes what he is saying, then technically, it's not perjury.
07/31/2007
04:54

Sport Report - Barry Bonds
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen defends Barry Bonds' alleged drug use, gambles his money away in the Saudi Arabia and Iraq soccer game and talks about a racing greyhound that's named after him.
07/31/2007
00:38

Rupert Murdoch Purchases The Wall Street Journal
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wonders if Rupert Murdoch has instead taken over Reuters, who were first to report the story.
07/31/2007
02:21

Wrist Violence Epidemic
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen continues to attack films that show wrist violence and calls on Hollywood to stop showing such acts.
07/31/2007
02:32

Smokin' Pole - Arc! Who Goes There?
The Colbert ReportS3

Now is the time for America to deploy its undersea army of hermit crabs to fight back Russia from claiming the North Pole.
07/31/2007
06:06

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
The Colbert ReportS3

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend explains how the Christian Right has shrunk God and made America not care about the common good.
07/31/2007
00:33

Intro - 7/31/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Russia lays claim to the North Pole, Democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury and guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend talks about what happens when you mix politics and religion.
07/31/2007
03:57

The Word - College Credit
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is all in favor of a new system of charging higher tuition for certain college majors and has some additional ideas of his own.
08/01/2007
03:09

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Hollywood Pigeons
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen recommends that Hollywood stop putting their pigeons on the pill and start teaching an abstinence-only curriculum.
08/01/2007
00:31

Intro - 8/1/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen thinks an infestation of pigeons is Michael Bay's latest summer blockbuster.
08/01/2007
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