The Colbert Report

The Word - Modest Porpoisal

Season 3 • 07/24/2007

What's more advantageous for the survival of a species than being delicious?

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00:13

Intro - 7/23/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is too busy reading the newly-released final Harry Potter book to introduce the show.
07/23/2007
06:01

Colbert Platinum - Private Submarines
The Colbert ReportS3

You've got your Lamborghini, you've got your private jet, you've got your schooner -- what should your next expensive vehicle purchase be? A submarine.
07/23/2007
02:58

Stephen's Fountain of Youth
The Colbert ReportS3

When Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson appeared on The Report, he didn't just get the Colbert Bump -- his hair looked more brown than usual.
07/23/2007
05:41

Simon Schama
The Colbert ReportS3

Simon Schama says the purpose of art is to unleash the floodgates of passion. Stephen says FEMA has to protect people from the flooding of his passion.
07/23/2007
04:30

The Word - Premium Package
The Colbert ReportS3

Americans have basic rights, and those rights should not be denied on the basis of their color, creed, or religion -- it should be on the basis of their tax returns.
07/23/2007
06:06

Anthony Romero
The Colbert ReportS3

ACLU Director Anthony Romero, author of "In Defense of Our America," defends Stephen's right to burn his book.
07/24/2007
04:20

Movies That Are Destroying America: Chuck and Larry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen just hopes that "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" shows the dark side of gay marriage: Kevin James naked.
07/24/2007
01:52

Bush's Butt
The Colbert ReportS3

If the Bush administration is so secretive, would they have publicly handed over power to Dick Cheney while the president got a camera stuck up his butt?
07/24/2007
01:43

Joining the Illuminati
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tried every crazy handshake he could think of when he met President Bush.
07/24/2007
00:30

Intro - 7/24/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses a scandal in the German zoo system, talks about the summer blockbuster season and interviews executive director of the ACLU, Anthony Romero.
07/24/2007
04:08

The Word - Modest Porpoisal
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests that by eating endangered animals we can prevent their extinction.
07/24/2007
00:32

Intro - 7/25/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Scientists develop a removable tattoo, Fred Thompson demotes his campaign manager, and Stephen asks Charles Kaiser if there's a gay Superman.
07/25/2007
03:40

The Word - No Regrets
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen believes that you should never regret a decision but instead get it tattooed on your forehead.
07/25/2007
01:33

Thompson Campaign
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen believes America deserves a president who is ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work on a 52-ounce porterhouse.
07/25/2007
02:46

Hometown Hero Town - Bryce Canyon City
The Colbert ReportS3

In order to establish Colbert Report City, the show will now be taped in Utah. Go Jazz!
07/25/2007
06:00

Daily Kos
The Colbert ReportS3

Hey New York Times -- Stephen didn't spoil Harry Potter for you, don't ruin the war in Iraq for him.
07/25/2007
05:21

Charles Kaiser
The Colbert ReportS3

When Charles Kaiser suggests that New York is a gay metropolis because of critical mass, Stephen understands that to mean it's like a dangerous nuclear bomb.
07/25/2007
00:32

Intro - 7/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

North Dakota seeks to legalize hemp farming, a goddess is stripped of her title, and Stephen asks Robert Shrum whether he advised Kerry to flip or to flop.
07/26/2007
06:32

Bob Shrum
The Colbert ReportS3

Democratic campaign strategist Bob Shrum wants to know if Stephen's wrist injury has made him reconsider his position on universal health care.
07/26/2007
06:04

Industrial Hemp & Medical Marijuana - Aaron Houston
The Colbert ReportS3

Medical marijuana advocate Aaron Houston tells Stephen the only thing you'd get from smoking hemp is the headache of your life.
07/26/2007
03:22

Advice to the Gods - Nepalese Pre-Teen Goddesses
The Colbert ReportS3

A top Kumari -- a pre-teen girl Nepalese Buddhists worship as a goddess -- was recently stripped of her divinity for visiting the United States.
07/26/2007
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