The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/2/09

Season 5 • 11/02/2009

Stephen totally nailed his guest, Nicholas Thompson.

More

Watching

00:14

Sign Off - Thanks to Bill Simmons & Rosanne Cash
The Colbert ReportS5

Put Rosanne Cash's new album on your list and drop some cash on it.
10/29/2009
05:13

Bill Simmons
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill Simmons believes Wilt Chamberlain was gay and compares Kobe Bryant to Teen Wolf.
10/29/2009
00:30

Intro - 10/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Gitmo prisoners may have been tortured with rock music, and Bill Simmons talks about his 700-page book on basketball.
10/29/2009
06:37

We Got the Beating - Rosanne Cash
The Colbert ReportS5

Rosanne Cash explains why she doesn't want her music used to torture Gitmo detainees.
10/29/2009
05:12

ThreatDown - Halloween Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

Halloween masks spread the H1N1 virus, candy sends kids toward a life of crime, and dogs wear matching sexy costumes.
10/29/2009
03:20

Alpha Dog of the Week - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Colbert ReportS5

Arnold Schwarzenegger comes up with the dirtiest hidden word puzzle since they discontinued the kid's menu at Hooters.
11/02/2009
01:43

Used Karzai
The Colbert ReportS5

Hamid Karzai is declared the winner of the Afghan election after Abdullah Abdullah withdraws from the race.
11/02/2009
05:32

Nicholas Thompson
The Colbert ReportS5

Nicholas Thompson describes the lives of two friends -- Paul Nitze and George Kennan -- battling over the U.S. approach to the Cold War.
11/02/2009
07:34

Sport Report - NYC Marathon & Olympic Speedskating
The Colbert ReportS5

An American finally wins the New York City marathon, and the Colbert Nation becomes the official sponsor of the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/02/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Donate to the U.S. Speedskating Team
The Colbert ReportS5

Make sure that it's America's 38-inch thighs on the Olympics medal platform by donating to the U.S. speedskating team.
11/02/2009
00:23

Intro - 11/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Nicholas Thompson isn't going to show his face anytime soon after getting nailed by Stephen.
11/02/2009
02:00

Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation
The Colbert ReportS5

Despite Canadian hackers taking down the donations link, you heroes have already raised $40,000 for the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/03/2009
00:18

Sign Off - They Call Me Mister Fry
The Colbert ReportS5

If you are going to be in New York, check out "They Call Me Mister Fry" at the Comic Strip Live.
11/03/2009
07:20

Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS5

Andrew Sullivan details Barack Obama's achievements in improved international relations, health care reform and bipartisanship.
11/03/2009
05:38

Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
The Colbert ReportS5

The Mormon Church arrested Derek Jones and Matt Aune for criminal trespassing, not for being gay.
11/03/2009
04:31

The Word - The Green Mile
The Colbert ReportS5

The rest of America should follow Arizona's lead and replace the long arm of the law with the invisible hand of the market.
11/03/2009
00:33

Intro - 11/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen thinks it's racist that there's no Pepper Lake City, and Andrew Sullivan talks about Obama's accomplishments.
11/03/2009
00:34

Intro - 11/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
11/04/2009
00:27

Intro - 11/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
11/04/2009
05:00

Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al Gore
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
11/04/2009
06:39

Harold Evans
The Colbert ReportS5

Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
11/04/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022