The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone Sanchez

Season 7 • 03/08/2011

Stephen asks Zoe Simone Sanchez to let her mom come back to work.

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06:02

Joshua Foer
The Colbert ReportS7

Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
03/07/2011
02:12

Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's Portrait
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
03/07/2011
02:33

America's Next GOP Model
The Colbert ReportS7

Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
03/07/2011
02:45

Stephen Wants an iPad 2
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
03/07/2011
00:35

Intro - 3/7/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
03/07/2011
03:59

Light Bulb Ban - Dale Bryk
The Colbert ReportS7

Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
03/08/2011
06:03

Dan Sinker
The Colbert ReportS7

Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
03/08/2011
02:13

Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's Day
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
03/08/2011
03:18

Charlie Sheen & Fake Rahm Emanuel on Twitter
The Colbert ReportS7

Charlie Sheen gets a new gig as Twitter overlord, and the fake Rahm Emanuel is unmasked.
03/08/2011
04:17

Light Bulb Ban
The Colbert ReportS7

The socket huggers claim that pigtail bulbs last up to 10 years, but they haven't considered how the efficient lights will affect the joke-telling industry.
03/08/2011
00:37

Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone Sanchez
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
03/08/2011
05:24

Bench Press - Anthony Weiner
The Colbert ReportS7

Anthony Weiner wants to ensure that the Supreme Court upholds a standard of ethics by asking Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from health care cases.
03/09/2011
00:26

Intro - 3/9/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and Stephen hopes David Brooks' book, "The Social Animal," is about a hamster on Facebook.
03/09/2011
05:40

David Brooks
The Colbert ReportS7

David Brooks describes the way unconscious emotions affect people's decisions and values.
03/09/2011
04:35

Stephen Gives Up Catholicism for Lent
The Colbert ReportS7

Giving up Catholicism for Lent shows Stephen's devotion to the great religion that he no longer practices.
03/09/2011
03:37

Bench Press
The Colbert ReportS7

If every Supreme Court justice had to recuse themselves over a conflict of interest, we would never see John Roberts' NASCAR robe.
03/09/2011
00:42

Sign Off - Jewish Stephen
The Colbert ReportS7

Now that Stephen is Jewish, he is legally obligated to tell you to call your mother.
03/09/2011
00:45

Sign Off - Enjoy the Moment
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen wants everyone to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
03/10/2011
02:16

Newt Gingrich Wants to Screw America
The Colbert ReportS7

Newt Gingrich only cheated on his wives because he's so passionate about America.
03/10/2011
01:29

Colbert PAC Ad
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen launches ColbertPAC.com with his very own high-budget promotional video.
03/10/2011
03:31

Peter King Understands Violent Radicalism
The Colbert ReportS7

Tennessee fights back against Sharia law, and Peter King holds a hearing to investigate radical American Muslims.
03/10/2011
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