The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Lemons

Season 2 • 07/17/2006

You can't do anything with lemons.

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Watching

05:49

ThreatDown - Gay Clones
The Colbert ReportS2

The guy who played Anakin Beefstroker in "Sperm Wars II: Attack of the Bones" was actually better than Hayden Christensen.
07/13/2006
03:52

The Word - Inquisition
The Colbert ReportS2

Connecticut, you chose Joe Lieberman in 1988; you can't just say 'oops, I made a mistake' and elect another Democrat.
07/13/2006
03:31

TV's New Low
The Colbert ReportS2

If you aren't watching The Colbert Report because you're busy guarding our borders, you can buy 16 episodes on iTunes for $9.99.
07/13/2006
06:28

Ron Suskind
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen explains to author Ron Suskind that if we didn't invade someone, we would have tripped over our preparedness.
07/13/2006
06:24

Lee Silver
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen makes sure Princeton professor Lee Silver knows that he doesn't know more than Stephen does about genetic engineering.
07/17/2006
00:37

Intro - 7/17/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen talks about the crisis in the Middle East, reports on Arizona's new voting proposal, and interviews author Lee Silver.
07/17/2006
02:54

The Word - T & A
The Colbert ReportS2

There's only one thing that truly unites mankind -- the objectification of womankind.
07/17/2006
04:49

Tip/Wag - Arizona
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tips his hat to Iraqi television, Wal-Mart and aliens, and wags his finger at the state of Arizona and Wal-Mart.
07/17/2006
02:26

One American Dollar
The Colbert ReportS2

Don't send Stephen Colbert $50, because that won't get you a durable, sporty Colbert Report tote bag -- which also doesn't come in red.
07/17/2006
02:08

Microphone On
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen didn't realize his microphone was on, and now his comments have been misinterpreted.
07/17/2006
00:10

Sign Off - Lemons
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reminds everyone that if God gives you lemons, you must be a bad person.
07/17/2006
01:40

Column Width
The Colbert ReportS2

The New York Times announces they're reducing the width of their newspaper by an inch and a half -- that's an inch and a half less of state secrets revealed everyday.
07/18/2006
03:08

The Word - Solidarity
The Colbert ReportS2

It's time for management and labor to come together as management to exploit labor.
07/18/2006
03:15

WWIII
The Colbert ReportS2

If everything is still in existence by this time next week, Stephen is going to be very upset.
07/18/2006
05:52

Dhani Jones
The Colbert ReportS2

Dhani Jones has the ability to be a mindless crushing machine, and yet he chooses to read poetry and listen to classical music.
07/18/2006
00:11

Try at Goodbye
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen has never been very good at goodbyes, but he's going to try.
07/18/2006
05:09

Stephen Colbert's Problems Without Solutions - Bears
The Colbert ReportS2

This special report investigates the sources of a tragic and dangerous delusion.
07/18/2006
00:33

Intro - 7/18/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen takes us inside the world of bears, linebackers and poets.
07/18/2006
03:21

The Word - R-E-S-P-E-C-T
The Colbert ReportS2

The NAACP is prejudging the president solely based on what he's done.
07/19/2006
04:49

The Convenientest Truth
The Colbert ReportS2

Al Gore says global warming means the world is coming to an end, but Stephen says the world is just coming to a new beginning.
07/19/2006
06:09

Joe Scarborough
The Colbert ReportS2

Joe Scarborough took money from Jack Abramoff, and it felt good.
07/19/2006
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