The Colbert Report

Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation

Season 3 • 05/21/2007

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert addresses internal decapitation with Vaxadrin.

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06:51

Tom DeLay
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
05/17/2007
00:06

Sign Off - Rafters
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Stephen lets Texas' 22nd district soar again.
05/17/2007
06:35

Randy Kearse
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Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
05/17/2007
00:31

Intro - 5/17/07
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In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
05/17/2007
01:41

Baby Gun Permit
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A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
05/17/2007
05:46

Jared Diamond
The Colbert ReportS3

Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
05/21/2007
03:41

The Word - His Way
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
05/21/2007
02:20

Presidential Fraternity
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes issue with Jimmy Carter for apparently growing a pair and criticizing the sitting president.
05/21/2007
02:06

God Loves a Big Screen TV
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen still believes the pope is infallible, except when it comes to his views on capitalism.
05/21/2007
00:28

Intro - 5/21/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen provides all the news, minus a little something for himself.
05/21/2007
05:21

Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
05/21/2007
00:35

Intro - 5/22/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen chastises the NBA for not letting their players punch people in the stands.
05/22/2007
03:12

Barack's a Liar
The Colbert ReportS3

Barack Obama's inability to remember what magazine he read when he was nine is all Stephen needs to call him a liar.
05/22/2007
01:23

Popularity Contest
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
05/22/2007
00:15

Sign Off - Lesson Forgotten
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen learns an important lesson about writing down important lessons.
05/22/2007
04:55

ThreatDown - Environmentalists
The Colbert ReportS3

Environmentalists are on the list for setting up trust funds for bears.
05/22/2007
06:02

John Amaechi
The Colbert ReportS3

Former center John Amaechi joins Stephen to discuss how hard it was to remember that he was the gay one in the NBA.
05/22/2007
02:44

The Word - Party of Change
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is relieved to find that the Democrats' talk of ethics reform merely meant that the public should reform their idea of right and wrong.
05/22/2007
00:33

Intro - 5/23/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The Democrats back down on a timetable for troop withdrawal, while the House and Senate forge a compromise on immigration.
05/23/2007
03:38

ThreatDown - Pellicano!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen left Anthony Pellicano a few voicemails back in the late 90s, but he has nothing to be ashamed of, or incarcerated for.
05/23/2007
02:44

Bush is Back!
The Colbert ReportS3

The Democrats backed down on the Iraq timetable. President Bush is back!
05/23/2007
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