The Colbert Report

Intro - 5/23/07

Season 3 • 05/23/2007

The president gets what he wants, and everyone else can bite it.

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Watching

01:23

Popularity Contest
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
05/22/2007
00:15

Sign Off - Lesson Forgotten
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen learns an important lesson about writing down important lessons.
05/22/2007
04:55

ThreatDown - Environmentalists
The Colbert ReportS3

Environmentalists are on the list for setting up trust funds for bears.
05/22/2007
06:02

John Amaechi
The Colbert ReportS3

Former center John Amaechi joins Stephen to discuss how hard it was to remember that he was the gay one in the NBA.
05/22/2007
02:44

The Word - Party of Change
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is relieved to find that the Democrats' talk of ethics reform merely meant that the public should reform their idea of right and wrong.
05/22/2007
03:38

ThreatDown - Pellicano!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen left Anthony Pellicano a few voicemails back in the late 90s, but he has nothing to be ashamed of, or incarcerated for.
05/23/2007
02:44

Bush is Back!
The Colbert ReportS3

The Democrats backed down on the Iraq timetable. President Bush is back!
05/23/2007
06:21

Illegal Immigration - Bay Buchanan
The Colbert ReportS3

Bay Buchanan explains why Stephen's idea for a crocodile moat border is too messy.
05/23/2007
00:14

Sign Off - Hi-Def
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants his viewers watching him in hi-def to know that The Colbert Report does not broadcast in hi-def.
05/23/2007
05:54

Bob Deans
The Colbert ReportS3

Author Bob Deans explains there were slaves in America before there were pilgrims.
05/23/2007
00:33

Intro - 5/23/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The Democrats back down on a timetable for troop withdrawal, while the House and Senate forge a compromise on immigration.
05/23/2007
00:08

Speaking Fee
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen will see you in a week, unless you have a million dollars for his speaking fee.
05/24/2007
06:03

Jimmy Wales
The Colbert ReportS3

Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales says that his staff is scrambling to protect Wikipedia from Stephen.
05/24/2007
02:31

Up in Smoke
The Colbert ReportS3

There are some Memorial Day weekend dangers you might never have thought of if it weren't for Stephen thinking them up at you.
05/24/2007
02:32

Fleet Week
The Colbert ReportS3

The Fleet Week servicemen are just innocent, small town kids wandering a big city rife with temptations like liquor, gambling and museums.
05/24/2007
00:26

Intro - 5/24/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Since it's Memorial Day weekend, Stephen wants to remind everyone to turn their clocks back.
05/24/2007
05:50

Better Know a District - Arizona's 7th - Raul Grijalva
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen believes Representative Raul Grijalva's Interethnic Racial Harmony Award would make one hell of a weapon.
05/24/2007
02:23

Big Loud Flag
The Colbert ReportS3

Some people have complained about Stephen's big, loud flag.
05/24/2007
04:08

Better Know a District - Illinois' 9th - Jan Schakowsky
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen visits the district on the North Shore of Chicago, home of Northwestern University, Wrigley Field and Mayor McCheese.
06/04/2007
01:57

Uneventful Vacation
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen recalls the uneventful events from his week off that only included performing medical experiments on himself and traveling the world behind a mask.
06/04/2007
05:10

Leon Botstein
The Colbert ReportS3

Bard College president Leon Botstein explains how educating prisoners is an effective way to reintroduce them to society.
06/04/2007
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