The Colbert Report

Do, Dump or Marry

Season 5 • 09/28/2009

Glamour readers want to do Jimmy Fallon and marry Stephen.

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00:13

Sign Off - Thank You for Joining Us
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says thank you and goodnight.
09/23/2009
05:30

Ken Burns
The Colbert ReportS5

Ken Burns believes if America didn't have national parks, the Grand Canyon would be lined with mansions and Yosemite would be a gated community.
09/24/2009
02:09

Atone Phone - Larry King Calls
The Colbert ReportS5

Larry King apologizes to Stephen for not giving him a chance to explain the terrible scandal that is sure to end his career.
09/24/2009
06:29

The Word - Blackwashing
The Colbert ReportS5

Prevent your valid criticisms of Barack Obama from being unfairly associated with racism by putting on a little blackwashing.
09/24/2009
03:50

Easter Under Attack - Peeps Display
The Colbert ReportS5

A woman must take down the marshmallow Peeps display from her apartment door or be evicted.
09/24/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Automated Desk
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants his automated desk to take him home.
09/24/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.
09/24/2009
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight, Conan
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to Conan O'Brien as he comforts himself with Americone Dream.
09/28/2009
04:48

Sheryl WuDunn
The Colbert ReportS5

Sheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.
09/28/2009
04:33

Atone Phone - Last Day of Apologies
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Krugman apologizes for winning the Nobel Prize in Economics, and J.J. Abrams is sorry for making his hidden puzzle too difficult to solve.
09/28/2009
03:53

Do, Dump or Marry
The Colbert ReportS5

Glamour readers vote to dump Conan O'Brien, do Jimmy Fallon and marry Stephen.
09/28/2009
05:04

The Word - Out of the Closet
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans and Democrats should march in pride parades and proudly announce their relationship with lobbyists.
09/29/2009
00:29

Intro - 9/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

An exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.
09/29/2009
00:16

Sign Off - Richard Dawkins Will Be Here Tomorrow
The Colbert ReportS5

Noted atheist writer Richard Dawkins will be on tomorrow night.
09/29/2009
01:53

Spider-Pope
The Colbert ReportS5

If the spider crawling on Pope Benedict XVI's face has bitten him, we might soon have a Spider-Pope.
09/29/2009
06:30

Cheating Death - Snus & Placebo Effect
The Colbert ReportS5

Camel develops a new way to deliver smooth carcinogens without lighting up, and placebos become more effective.
09/29/2009
05:21

Matt Latimer
The Colbert ReportS5

Matt Latimer, a former speechwriter for the Bush administration, remembers the words he used most when writing for the president.
09/29/2009
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight, Grammy
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to his grammy.
09/30/2009
02:41

Send Your Medical Bills to Max Baucus
The Colbert ReportS5

Senator Max Baucus will pay for your medical bills from the $3.2 million he's received from the health care industry.
09/30/2009
03:39

A Pace Odyssey
The Colbert ReportS5

NASA begins assembling Stephen's treadmill so America's famously fat astronauts can get trim in space.
09/30/2009
05:42

Richard Dawkins
The Colbert ReportS5

After offering evidence for evolution, Richard Dawkins wants to see the evidence for God.
09/30/2009
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