The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Thank You for Joining Us

Season 5 • 09/23/2009

That's it for The Report.

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00:06

Sign Off - Shofar Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight with his shofar.
09/22/2009
04:58

Shai Agassi
The Colbert ReportS5

Shai Agassi explains his electric car network that's modeled after cell phone plans.
09/22/2009
06:42

Tip/Wag - Guns on Amtrak, Fake Lesbians & Battleship Audition
The Colbert ReportS5

The Senate allows guns on Amtrak trains, fake lesbians push products, and Stephen auditions for "Battleship" with Jeff Goldblum.
09/22/2009
01:57

Atone Phone - Jon Stewart Calls to Apologize
The Colbert ReportS5

Jon calls 1-888-MOSS-LEW to apologize for not having paid for his bed of moss yet.
09/22/2009
00:27

Intro - 9/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Senate votes to allow guns on trains, and Shai Agassi wants us all to drive electric cars.
09/22/2009
05:28

Atone Phone - Emmy Awards
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants every Jewish member of the television academy to call and beg for forgiveness, which he will then deliver in the form of an acceptance speech.
09/22/2009
09:01

Capitalism's Enemy - Michael Moore
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Moore fights capitalism and urges Senate Democrats to stand up for health care reform.
09/23/2009
01:35

Tom DeLay Dances With the Stars
The Colbert ReportS5

Tom DeLay looked so happy on the floor of "Dancing With the Stars" you'd think he'd just been arrested on charges of corruption.
09/23/2009
05:10

AJ Jacobs
The Colbert ReportS5

AJ Jacobs' life experiments include following all the rules of the Bible, trying to be the most rational person alive and radical honesty.
09/23/2009
03:09

Lunatic Dictator Accommodations
The Colbert ReportS5

Let's put Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Muammar el-Qaddafi in New York City's finest hotels and drain their national treasuries with mini-bar charges.
09/23/2009
00:13

Sign Off - Thank You for Joining Us
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says thank you and goodnight.
09/23/2009
05:30

Ken Burns
The Colbert ReportS5

Ken Burns believes if America didn't have national parks, the Grand Canyon would be lined with mansions and Yosemite would be a gated community.
09/24/2009
02:09

Atone Phone - Larry King Calls
The Colbert ReportS5

Larry King apologizes to Stephen for not giving him a chance to explain the terrible scandal that is sure to end his career.
09/24/2009
06:29

The Word - Blackwashing
The Colbert ReportS5

Prevent your valid criticisms of Barack Obama from being unfairly associated with racism by putting on a little blackwashing.
09/24/2009
03:50

Easter Under Attack - Peeps Display
The Colbert ReportS5

A woman must take down the marshmallow Peeps display from her apartment door or be evicted.
09/24/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Automated Desk
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants his automated desk to take him home.
09/24/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.
09/24/2009
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight, Conan
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to Conan O'Brien as he comforts himself with Americone Dream.
09/28/2009
04:48

Sheryl WuDunn
The Colbert ReportS5

Sheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.
09/28/2009
04:33

Atone Phone - Last Day of Apologies
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Krugman apologizes for winning the Nobel Prize in Economics, and J.J. Abrams is sorry for making his hidden puzzle too difficult to solve.
09/28/2009
03:53

Do, Dump or Marry
The Colbert ReportS5

Glamour readers vote to dump Conan O'Brien, do Jimmy Fallon and marry Stephen.
09/28/2009
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