The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Automated Desk

Season 5 • 09/24/2009

Stephen asks his desk to take him home.

More

Watching

09:01

Capitalism's Enemy - Michael Moore
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Moore fights capitalism and urges Senate Democrats to stand up for health care reform.
09/23/2009
01:35

Tom DeLay Dances With the Stars
The Colbert ReportS5

Tom DeLay looked so happy on the floor of "Dancing With the Stars" you'd think he'd just been arrested on charges of corruption.
09/23/2009
05:10

AJ Jacobs
The Colbert ReportS5

AJ Jacobs' life experiments include following all the rules of the Bible, trying to be the most rational person alive and radical honesty.
09/23/2009
03:09

Lunatic Dictator Accommodations
The Colbert ReportS5

Let's put Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Muammar el-Qaddafi in New York City's finest hotels and drain their national treasuries with mini-bar charges.
09/23/2009
00:13

Sign Off - Thank You for Joining Us
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says thank you and goodnight.
09/23/2009
05:30

Ken Burns
The Colbert ReportS5

Ken Burns believes if America didn't have national parks, the Grand Canyon would be lined with mansions and Yosemite would be a gated community.
09/24/2009
02:09

Atone Phone - Larry King Calls
The Colbert ReportS5

Larry King apologizes to Stephen for not giving him a chance to explain the terrible scandal that is sure to end his career.
09/24/2009
06:29

The Word - Blackwashing
The Colbert ReportS5

Prevent your valid criticisms of Barack Obama from being unfairly associated with racism by putting on a little blackwashing.
09/24/2009
03:50

Easter Under Attack - Peeps Display
The Colbert ReportS5

A woman must take down the marshmallow Peeps display from her apartment door or be evicted.
09/24/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.
09/24/2009
00:21

Sign Off - Automated Desk
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants his automated desk to take him home.
09/24/2009
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight, Conan
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to Conan O'Brien as he comforts himself with Americone Dream.
09/28/2009
04:48

Sheryl WuDunn
The Colbert ReportS5

Sheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.
09/28/2009
04:33

Atone Phone - Last Day of Apologies
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Krugman apologizes for winning the Nobel Prize in Economics, and J.J. Abrams is sorry for making his hidden puzzle too difficult to solve.
09/28/2009
03:53

Do, Dump or Marry
The Colbert ReportS5

Glamour readers vote to dump Conan O'Brien, do Jimmy Fallon and marry Stephen.
09/28/2009
05:04

The Word - Out of the Closet
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans and Democrats should march in pride parades and proudly announce their relationship with lobbyists.
09/29/2009
00:29

Intro - 9/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

An exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.
09/29/2009
00:16

Sign Off - Richard Dawkins Will Be Here Tomorrow
The Colbert ReportS5

Noted atheist writer Richard Dawkins will be on tomorrow night.
09/29/2009
01:53

Spider-Pope
The Colbert ReportS5

If the spider crawling on Pope Benedict XVI's face has bitten him, we might soon have a Spider-Pope.
09/29/2009
06:30

Cheating Death - Snus & Placebo Effect
The Colbert ReportS5

Camel develops a new way to deliver smooth carcinogens without lighting up, and placebos become more effective.
09/29/2009
05:21

Matt Latimer
The Colbert ReportS5

Matt Latimer, a former speechwriter for the Bush administration, remembers the words he used most when writing for the president.
09/29/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

South Park: The End of Obesity Trailer

South Park takes on the weight-loss drug craze in this exclusive event, streaming May 24 on Paramount+.
05/15/2024
Trailer
00:30

The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools

Jordan Klepper investigates useful idiocy on The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools, premiering on May 20 at 11:30 PM on Comedy Central.
05/14/2024
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023