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South Park
John Travolta Feels Safe in the Closet
Season 9 E 12 • 11/16/2005
John Travolta joins Tom Cruise in the closet.
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00:50
Tom, It's Nicole
South Park
S9 E12
With R. Kelly narrating the action from outside, Nicole Kidman steps in to try her hand at getting Tom Cruise out of the closet.
11/16/2005
02:43
Free Personality Test
South Park
S9 E12
Stan's saving his money so he can buy a new bike. Luckily, the personality test Scientologists administer is free.
11/16/2005
02:11
Fax These Results to Los Angeles
South Park
S9 E12
Stan uses his bike money to get audited by the Scientologists. His E-Meter scores are higher than any the Scientologists have ever seen.
11/16/2005
02:59
What Scientologist Actually Believe
South Park
S9 E12
The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.
11/16/2005
00:51
A Bike or Not Being Depressed
South Park
S9 E12
Stan's mom notices something is wrong with Stan. When he tells them that he needs $240 not to be depressed, Stan's Dad says no.
11/16/2005
00:45
OT 9
South Park
S9 E12
Stan's off-the-charts thetin results are rushed to the head of Scientology, who immediately knows their cause: Stan is the second coming of the great leader.
11/16/2005
01:40
Thank You For Returning
South Park
S9 E12
When Stan goes to take out the trash, he is greeted by throngs of Scientologists hoping to catch a glimpse of their prophet.
11/16/2005
01:26
Tom Cruise Won't Come Out of The Closet
South Park
S9 E12
Tom Cruise is seeking approval for his acting career. Stan doesn't tell him what he wants to hear.
11/16/2005
00:57
R Kelly
South Park
S9 E12
Tom Cruise refuses to come out of the closet, so the local news media turns to R. Kelly.
11/16/2005
00:55
Stan Chooses Scientology
South Park
S9 E12
When Kyle tells Stan he thinks Scientology is wrong, Stan Chooses Scientology over their friendship.
11/16/2005
01:12
John Travolta Feels Safe in the Closet
South Park
S9 E12
John Travolta tries to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet and winds up going in himself. R. Kelly sings about what's happening.
11/16/2005
01:27
Scam on a Global Scale
South Park
S9 E12
When Stan tells the head Scientologist about his idea to make membership in the church free, the head Scientologist tells him Scientology's a Scam on a Global Scale.
11/16/2005
00:55
R Kelly Sings with TC & JT
South Park
S9 E12
With Nicole Kidman and John Travolta having failed, it's time for R. Kelly shot.
11/16/2005
02:37
Willzyx's Problems
South Park
S9 E13
Kyle drags the boys back to Jambu's tank to show them that the whale can talk. The boys are made to believe the whale's name is Willzyx, he's from the moon, and he's very sick.
11/30/2005
01:26
The Sketch
South Park
S9 E13
The Sea Park announcers use a crude sketch of the boys in hopes of tracking them down.
11/30/2005
02:43
Rocket Launch
South Park
S9 E13
A Mexican rocket successfully sends Willzyx into space and on his way home.
11/30/2005
01:36
Denver's Sea Park
South Park
S9 E13
The boys get wet at the Denver Sea Park by an Orca named Jambu.
11/30/2005
01:18
Jambu Speaks
South Park
S9 E13
Kyle gets a closer look at Jambu and thinks the whale is talking to him, but it's just the announcers having some fun.
11/30/2005
01:37
Busting Out Willzyx
South Park
S9 E13
Convinced that they must send Willzyx back to the moon, Kyle and the boys liberate the whale from Sea Park.
11/30/2005
01:24
Ransom Note
South Park
S9 E13
The boys leave a confusing ransom note at the Sea Park, but announcers know who took Jambu.
11/30/2005
01:31
Russia's Price
South Park
S9 E13
When the boys can't afford Russia's price to send Willzyx to the moon, they decide to find a cheaper space program.
11/30/2005
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