The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 03/23/2006
Stephen explains to Judith Martin how having a TV show allows one to be rude.
Sign Off - Thank You, AmericaThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
Advice for Jennifer AnnistonThe Colbert ReportS2
Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad ShermanThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful OzThe Colbert ReportS2
By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
Intro - 3/22/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
Sign Off - The Reason for the HearthThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your LandThe Colbert ReportS2
American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
Intro - 3/23/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Raise a HeroThe Colbert ReportS2
For parents who want to raise heroes, Stephen has sound advice: men, never cry in front of your kids; women, stay home and home-school the children.
John KasichThe Colbert ReportS2
John Kasich, host of "The Heartland with John Kasich" on FOX News, lists honesty, integrity, personal responsibility and humility among the best of America's traditional values.
Miss MannersThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen explains to Miss Manners, Judith Martin, how rudeness is acceptable once you get yourself a TV show.
Intro - 3/27/06The Colbert ReportS2
Time Magazine implies that the Iraq war isn't worth the cost. A Ferrari isn't worth the cost, but it gets you laid.
Off the MarketThe Colbert ReportS2
The demand for Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 has been overwhelming.
Letter to the JudgeThe Colbert ReportS2
If you do go to prison, punch somebody in the face the minute you get there -- that way all the other inmates will think you're loco.
Gary HartThe Colbert ReportS2
Gary Hart shows Stephen how to make an attack dog out of duct tape.
Exercise RoutineThe Colbert ReportS2
For years, America's first ladies have been working to perfect a secret exercise routine that allows them to remain demure, non-threatening, and demure and non-threatening.
The Word - TenseThe Colbert ReportS2
Questioning a war while it's still being fought gives comfort to our enemies and undermines our troops.
Sign Off - Tomorrow's GuestThe Colbert ReportS2
Tomorrow night's guest will be former FEMA Director Michael Brown.
Immigration ProtestsThe Colbert ReportS2
Illegal immigrants protest common sense changes to immigration law, such as building a 700-mile fence along the border and barring churches from giving out food.
You may also like5 Videos
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed FriendsCursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
Out of Office Explores Remote Work AbsurdityOut of Office
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary ConcertSouth ParkS25
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.