The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 03/23/2006
Stephen explains to Judith Martin how having a TV show allows one to be rude.
The Colbert ReportS2 Sign Off - Thank You, America
Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
The Colbert ReportS2 Advice for Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
The Colbert ReportS2 Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad Sherman
Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful Oz
By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 3/22/06
Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
The Colbert ReportS2 Sign Off - The Reason for the Hearth
Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
The Colbert ReportS2 Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your Land
American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 3/23/06
Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
The Colbert ReportS2 Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Raise a Hero
For parents who want to raise heroes, Stephen has sound advice: men, never cry in front of your kids; women, stay home and home-school the children.
The Colbert ReportS2 John Kasich
John Kasich, host of "The Heartland with John Kasich" on FOX News, lists honesty, integrity, personal responsibility and humility among the best of America's traditional values.
The Colbert ReportS2 Miss Manners
Stephen explains to Miss Manners, Judith Martin, how rudeness is acceptable once you get yourself a TV show.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 3/27/06
Time Magazine implies that the Iraq war isn't worth the cost. A Ferrari isn't worth the cost, but it gets you laid.
The Colbert ReportS2 Off the Market
The demand for Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 has been overwhelming.
The Colbert ReportS2 Letter to the Judge
If you do go to prison, punch somebody in the face the minute you get there -- that way all the other inmates will think you're loco.
The Colbert ReportS2 Gary Hart
Gary Hart shows Stephen how to make an attack dog out of duct tape.
The Colbert ReportS2 Exercise Routine
For years, America's first ladies have been working to perfect a secret exercise routine that allows them to remain demure, non-threatening, and demure and non-threatening.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Tense
Questioning a war while it's still being fought gives comfort to our enemies and undermines our troops.
The Colbert ReportS2 Sign Off - Tomorrow's Guest
Tomorrow night's guest will be former FEMA Director Michael Brown.
The Colbert ReportS2 Immigration Protests
Illegal immigrants protest common sense changes to immigration law, such as building a 700-mile fence along the border and barring churches from giving out food.
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