The Colbert Report

Miss Manners

Season 2 • 03/23/2006

Stephen explains to Judith Martin how having a TV show allows one to be rude.

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00:09

Sign Off - Thank You, America
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
03/22/2006
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01:23

Advice for Jennifer Anniston
The Colbert ReportS2

Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
03/22/2006
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07:09

Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad Sherman
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
03/22/2006
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05:35

The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful Oz
The Colbert ReportS2

By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
03/22/2006
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00:34

Intro - 3/22/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
03/22/2006
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01:47

Sign Off - The Reason for the Hearth
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
03/23/2006
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03:58

Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your Land
The Colbert ReportS2

American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
03/23/2006
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00:28

Intro - 3/23/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
03/23/2006
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03:38

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Raise a Hero
The Colbert ReportS2

For parents who want to raise heroes, Stephen has sound advice: men, never cry in front of your kids; women, stay home and home-school the children.
03/23/2006
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06:10

John Kasich
The Colbert ReportS2

John Kasich, host of "The Heartland with John Kasich" on FOX News, lists honesty, integrity, personal responsibility and humility among the best of America's traditional values.
03/23/2006
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03:44

Miss Manners
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen explains to Miss Manners, Judith Martin, how rudeness is acceptable once you get yourself a TV show.
03/23/2006
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00:33

Intro - 3/27/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Time Magazine implies that the Iraq war isn't worth the cost. A Ferrari isn't worth the cost, but it gets you laid.
03/27/2006
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01:05

Off the Market
The Colbert ReportS2

The demand for Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 has been overwhelming.
03/27/2006
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01:10

Letter to the Judge
The Colbert ReportS2

If you do go to prison, punch somebody in the face the minute you get there -- that way all the other inmates will think you're loco.
03/27/2006
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06:32

Gary Hart
The Colbert ReportS2

Gary Hart shows Stephen how to make an attack dog out of duct tape.
03/27/2006
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00:07

Fract - Bald Eagle
The Colbert ReportS2

The American bald eagle is actually not bald.
03/27/2006
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01:33

Exercise Routine
The Colbert ReportS2

For years, America's first ladies have been working to perfect a secret exercise routine that allows them to remain demure, non-threatening, and demure and non-threatening.
03/27/2006
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02:23

The Word - Tense
The Colbert ReportS2

Questioning a war while it's still being fought gives comfort to our enemies and undermines our troops.
03/27/2006
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00:08

Sign Off - Tomorrow's Guest
The Colbert ReportS2

Tomorrow night's guest will be former FEMA Director Michael Brown.
03/27/2006
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02:08

Immigration Protests
The Colbert ReportS2

Illegal immigrants protest common sense changes to immigration law, such as building a 700-mile fence along the border and barring churches from giving out food.
03/27/2006
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04:19

ThreatDown - Drug Candy
The Colbert ReportS2

These drug dealers are a threat to more than just our children; they're a threat to our nation's advertisers.
03/27/2006
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