The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 08/18/2009
Robert Wright says the evolving idea of God assists people's moral progression.
Bill McKibbenThe Colbert ReportS5
Bill McKibben urges international leaders to take steps to lower the world's carbon dioxide levels through his 350.org movement.
Intro - 8/17/09The Colbert ReportS5
Reporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.
The Word - Must-Be TVThe Colbert ReportS5
If pundits want to save America, they have to do what's wrong to prove they're right.
Obama Publishes Health Care Op-EdThe Colbert ReportS5
President Obama publishing an op-ed in the New York Times on health care reform is a textbook sign of surrender.
Tip/Wag - German Campaign, Russian Dogs & Flying RabbisThe Colbert ReportS5
Vera Lengsfeld uses sex to campaign in Germany, Russian dogs take the subway, and flying rabbis ward off swine flu.
Hamid Karzai EndorsementThe Colbert ReportS5
Hamid Karzai locks up the key human rights abusers demographic with an endorsement from warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum.
Intro - 8/18/09The Colbert ReportS5
The German parliamentary election holds a surprise twist, and Robert Wright discusses religion's evolution.
Sign Off -ShofarThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen says goodnight and tries to blow his shofar.
The Word - Arch EnemiesThe Colbert ReportS5
Without Archie to focus on, Betty will have to do something sad like rediscover her own dreams and devote her life to making the world a better place.
Robert WrightThe Colbert ReportS5
Robert Wright believes that the three major religions can help God move toward a level of tolerance and compassion.
Colbert Platinum - Urbane Nomads, Gigayacht & Michael Jackson DiamondThe Colbert ReportS5
Urbane Nomads offers lavish hunting expeditions, Everest Gigayacht costs $500 million, and LifeGem makes a diamond from Michael Jackson's hair.
Sugar Shortage - Marion NestleThe Colbert ReportS5
Marion Nestle confirms Stephen's fear that there is a sugar shortage in America, despite the fact that it's baseless.
Barney Frank Refuses to Talk to a Dining Room TableThe Colbert ReportS5
Barney Frank has no interest in arguing with a dining room table, but he can't stifle the voice of American furniture on Stephen's watch.
Ang LeeThe Colbert ReportS5
Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."
P.K. Winsome - Anti-Obama CollectiblesThe Colbert ReportS5
P.K. Winsome offers authentic "Barack Obama Is Hitler" mustaches to put on any pro-Obama collectible.
Intro - 8/20/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Make BabiesThe Colbert ReportS5
America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers.
Sign Off - Vacation BeginsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen officially starts his three-week vacation now.
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