The Colbert Report

Intro - 8/20/09

Season 5 • 08/20/2009

The Earth's population nears 7 billion. We're gaining on you, McDonald's.

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00:10

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight.
08/19/2009
05:03

Colbert Platinum - Urbane Nomads, Gigayacht & Michael Jackson Diamond
The Colbert ReportS5

Urbane Nomads offers lavish hunting expeditions, Everest Gigayacht costs $500 million, and LifeGem makes a diamond from Michael Jackson's hair.
08/19/2009
05:24

Sugar Shortage - Marion Nestle
The Colbert ReportS5

Marion Nestle confirms Stephen's fear that there is a sugar shortage in America, despite the fact that it's baseless.
08/19/2009
03:28

Barney Frank Refuses to Talk to a Dining Room Table
The Colbert ReportS5

Barney Frank has no interest in arguing with a dining room table, but he can't stifle the voice of American furniture on Stephen's watch.
08/19/2009
05:20

Ang Lee
The Colbert ReportS5

Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."
08/19/2009
07:19

P.K. Winsome - Anti-Obama Collectibles
The Colbert ReportS5

P.K. Winsome offers authentic "Barack Obama Is Hitler" mustaches to put on any pro-Obama collectible.
08/20/2009
04:51

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Make Babies
The Colbert ReportS5

America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers.
08/20/2009
00:07

Sign Off - Vacation Begins
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen officially starts his three-week vacation now.
08/20/2009
01:32

France Bans Elephants
The Colbert ReportS5

France ruins Stephen's vacation plans by banning elephants from French beaches.
08/20/2009
05:32

Chris Matthews
The Colbert ReportS5

Chris Matthews believes American politics would have been completely different without the Kennedys.
08/20/2009
00:24

Intro - 8/20/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."
08/20/2009
04:01

Conservatives Are Back
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama's speech on health care reform is so moving it almost fools Lindsey Graham into clapping.
09/14/2009
05:11

Cory Booker
The Colbert ReportS5

Mayor Cory Booker discusses Newark's decreasing crime rate and gives Stephen the right to pee.
09/14/2009
05:27

Better Know a Lobby - Health Care for America Now
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Kirsch must choose between saving universal health care or saving an old lady from drowning.
09/14/2009
03:58

Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at the VMAs
The Colbert ReportS5

Kanye West's attack on Taylor Swift at the VMAs was actually an attack on Stephen.
09/14/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/14/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.
09/14/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report.
09/14/2009
01:06

Stephen Loses World Record to Lou Dobbs
The Colbert ReportS5

Lou Dobbs beats Stephen with the world record for most insults to Mexico in a single broadcast.
09/15/2009
04:55

Christiane Amanpour
The Colbert ReportS5

Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."
09/15/2009
04:03

Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission - Jeffrey Toobin
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeffrey Toobin explains what will happen to elections if the Supreme Court decides in favor of corporations.
09/15/2009
02:43

World Record for Mexican Insults
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen tries to set his own record for most insults to Mexico in a single nightly news broadcast.
09/15/2009
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