The Colbert Report
Intro - 8/20/09
Season 5 • 08/20/2009
The Earth's population nears 7 billion. We're gaining on you, McDonald's.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colbert Platinum - Urbane Nomads, Gigayacht & Michael Jackson Diamond
Urbane Nomads offers lavish hunting expeditions, Everest Gigayacht costs $500 million, and LifeGem makes a diamond from Michael Jackson's hair.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sugar Shortage - Marion Nestle
Marion Nestle confirms Stephen's fear that there is a sugar shortage in America, despite the fact that it's baseless.
The Colbert ReportS5 Barney Frank Refuses to Talk to a Dining Room Table
Barney Frank has no interest in arguing with a dining room table, but he can't stifle the voice of American furniture on Stephen's watch.
The Colbert ReportS5 Ang Lee
Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."
The Colbert ReportS5 P.K. Winsome - Anti-Obama Collectibles
P.K. Winsome offers authentic "Barack Obama Is Hitler" mustaches to put on any pro-Obama collectible.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Make Babies
America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Vacation Begins
Stephen officially starts his three-week vacation now.
The Colbert ReportS5 France Bans Elephants
France ruins Stephen's vacation plans by banning elephants from French beaches.
The Colbert ReportS5 Chris Matthews
Chris Matthews believes American politics would have been completely different without the Kennedys.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 8/20/09
The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Baby Bear
Even Godless Killing Machines let their young watch Stephen Colbert, if only to teach them how to track their prey.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Ancient History
The forefathers of today's Colbert Nation read aloud from Stephen's masterpiece, "I Am America (And So Can You!)"
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Dancing Baby
One of Stephen's youngest fans pays tribute to The Colbert Report -- and America.
The Colbert ReportS5 Conservatives Are Back
Barack Obama's speech on health care reform is so moving it almost fools Lindsey Graham into clapping.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cory Booker
Mayor Cory Booker discusses Newark's decreasing crime rate and gives Stephen the right to pee.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Lobby - Health Care for America Now
Richard Kirsch must choose between saving universal health care or saving an old lady from drowning.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at the VMAs
Kanye West's attack on Taylor Swift at the VMAs was actually an attack on Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 9/14/09
The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.
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