The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 10/06/2009
John Darnielle thinks mountain goats are the coolest animals because of their suicidal pride.
The Colbert ReportS6 Exclusive - The Morning Asylum
Stephen plays an excerpt from his 80s morning radio show, "The Morning Asylum with Stevie C and Dr. Dave."
The Colbert ReportS5 Arne Duncan
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2
Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
The Colbert ReportS5 Americans for Prosperity Cheer Chicago's Failure
The conservative group, Americans for Prosperity, cheers when they hear the news of Chicago's failure to host the 2016 Olympics.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/5/09
President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Learning Is Fundamental
As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Formula 401: A Star Is Born
Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
The Colbert ReportS5 New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops
The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Road Ahead in Afghanistan - Lara Logan
As President Obama decides how to move forward in Afghanistan, Lara Logan explains the goals of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
The Colbert ReportS5 John Darnielle
John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
The Colbert ReportS5 Human Sacrifice Channel
What kind of cable package does Samuel Alito have that he can watch the Human Sacrifice Channel, and why can't Stephen get it?
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/7/09
Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth
Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls
Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle
Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alison Gopnik
Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kevin the Iranian Intern
An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head
Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colin Beavan
Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
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