The Colbert Report

Hooker-Drawer Market

Season 7 • 08/10/2011

The New York Post compares the rising and falling stock market to a hooker's underwear.

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00:33

Intro - 8/9/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Record temperatures sweep the heartland, the Internet doesn't make for better human beings, and legendary rockers The Cars perform.
08/09/2011
05:39

The Word - Head in the Cloud
The Colbert ReportS7

Technology turns people into empty flesh terminals that rely on it for all their ideas, memories and relationships.
08/09/2011
04:59

Heatsteria
The Colbert ReportS7

Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda.
08/09/2011
05:03

Ric Ocasek
The Colbert ReportS7

The Cars' Ric Ocasek remembers the '80s music scene and promises Stephen any future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards.
08/09/2011
06:07

Elliot Ackerman
The Colbert ReportS7

AmericansElect.org CEO Elliot Ackerman believes that individuals should have the power and tools to draft and directly nominate their own presidential candidate.
08/10/2011
04:16

God's Job Performance - Jim Martin
The Colbert ReportS7

Father Jim Martin believes that God's job is sustaining the universe, but His performance can't be judged.
08/10/2011
00:08

Sign Off - E-Mailing Colbert Nation
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen types up e-mails on his MacBook Air and says goodnight.
08/10/2011
00:34

Intro - 8/10/11
The Colbert ReportS7

God should improve His image, campaign fundraisers have a new weapon, and Elliot Ackerman's website matches voters with candidates.
08/10/2011
05:03

Yahweh or No Way - Mormons & God's Poll Numbers
The Colbert ReportS7

The Mormon Church's PR campaign makes Mormons irresistibly cool, while only 52% of Americans approve of God.
08/10/2011
02:40

Colbert Super PAC - Campaign Donation Addiction
The Colbert ReportS7

Political junkies get a fix through compulsive donations to presidential campaigns.
08/10/2011
01:55

Hooker-Drawer Market
The Colbert ReportS7

The New York Post explains the volatile stock market with analysis that everyone can understand.
08/10/2011
06:04

Gloria Steinem
The Colbert ReportS7

Gloria Steinem believes Americans know that women can do what men can do, but they don't know that men can do what women can do.
08/11/2011
05:39

Colbert Super PAC - Confused by Rick Parry with an "A" for America
The Colbert ReportS7

The fat cat media elites in Des Moines think they can sit in their ivory corn silos and play puppet master with national politics.
08/11/2011
00:59

Super PAC Ad - Behind The Green Corn
The Colbert ReportS7

Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow gives Iowans the cornography they deserve.
08/11/2011
03:38

Romney 2012 - "Corporations Are People"
The Colbert ReportS7

Mitt Romney's historic statement of corporate personhood makes him this generation's civil rights champion.
08/11/2011
05:14

Colbert Super PAC - Rick Parry with an "A" for America
The Colbert ReportS7

The Palin bus arrives in Iowa, and Stephen reveals an ear-sizzling hot-buttered Colbert Super PAC ad that appeals to Iowa's basest kernel instinct.
08/11/2011
00:06

Sign Off - Stephen's Emmy Award
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen pulls out his Emmy Award and says goodnight.
08/11/2011
04:14

Susan Rice Pt. 2
The Colbert ReportS7

Ambassador Susan Rice explains U.S. involvement in Syria and Libya, and tells Colbert Nation what they can do to help with Somalia's humanitarian tragedy.
08/15/2011
07:35

Colbert Super PAC - Iowa Straw Poll Results
The Colbert ReportS7

Michele Bachmann gets a commanding 80% of the votes she paid for at the Iowa straw poll, and "Rick Parry" receives at least 718 write-in votes.
08/15/2011
06:03

Susan Rice Pt. 1
The Colbert ReportS7

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice believes the U.N. is the one place where America can marshal the military and financial support of other nations.
08/15/2011
00:26

Sign Off - Full Susan Rice Interview Online
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen tells viewers to look for Susan Rice's full interview online.
08/15/2011
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