The Colbert Report
Sign Off - The Pitcher in the Oat
Season 5 • 07/14/2009
Stephen reads "The Pitcher in the Oat," by J.D. Stephenger.
The Colbert ReportS5 VA Backlog - Paul Rieckhoff
If Stephen gets 25,000 votes, Paul Rieckhoff will make him an honorary member of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Bork a Nominee
If Republicans want to stop Sonia Sotomayor's nomination, they must accuse her of bigotry, uncover her secrets and make her weigh in on abortion.
The Colbert ReportS5 Remembering Remembering Michael Jackson
Stephen remembers the fine coverage of Michael Jackson's death, like his one-hour interview with Michael Tackson.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/13/09
The Sotomayor confirmation hearings begin, and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman knows a lot about money.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/14/09
Stephen suggests looking for change in the folds of Barney Frank, and asks Leymah Gbowee where Liberia is.
The Colbert ReportS5 Leymah Gbowee
Leymah Gbowee organized a sex strike among women until the Liberian civil war ended.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Guns, Credit, and Corn
The American government can use the defense budget to pay for health care and just turn sick people into a weapons program.
The Colbert ReportS5 Senator Wences Questions Sonia Sotomayor
Senator Wences asks Sonia Sotomayor the tough questions while still maintaining cultural sensitivity.
The Colbert ReportS5 Raise High the Rage Beams
If J.D. Salinger doesn't come on the show, Stephen will publish his prequel, "The Pitcher in the Oat," under the pseudonym J.D. Stephenger.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - The Pitcher in the Oat
Stephen reads his J.D. Salinger tribute prequel, written under the pseudonym, J.D. Stephenger.
The Colbert ReportS5 Difference Makers - Doug Jackson
Thanks to State Senator Doug Jackson, it's now legal to carry a concealed weapon into a bar in Tennessee.
The Colbert ReportS5 Douglas Rushkoff
Douglas Rushkoff discusses the downfalls of operating the world like a corporation and how to weaken corporate influence.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Assassination Squads, Biblical History & Gay Penguins
The CIA shuts down its assassination program, Texas wants Christianity taught in history, and two male penguins end their relationship.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Wants to Be the Worst Person in the World
Stephen tries to make it onto Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" list by slapping a baby with a puppy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/15/09
There's bad news for people with target-shaped birthmarks, and Douglas Rushkoff lets Jews and Freemasons off the hook.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - No Man Is a Failure
No man is a failure who has friends, unless his friends are failures.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
Sonia Sotomayor's personal background should be neutralized the way Band-Aids were when they reached out to minorities.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/16/09
Stephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Memy Awards
Stephen announces the nominees for the Memy Awards' one and only category: Outstanding Individual.
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