The Colbert Report
Intro - 5/9/11
Season 7 • 05/09/2011
Stephen looks at a unique solution to the debt crisis in Mountain Dew Presents Michigan.
Stephen Confesses to a Distracted MediaThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen admits to petty theft, an art heist and a debilitating meth habit while the news media is distracted with Bin Laden's death.
Sign Off - Dennis Kucinich Heat VisionThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen examines the holes left from Dennis Kucinich's heat vision.
Inaugural Republican Presidential Debate & Donald Trump's WisdomThe Colbert ReportS7
Several potential Republican candidates pass on the inaugural presidential debate, and Donald Trump compares same-sex marriage to long golf clubs.
ThreatDown - Superman, Madden NFL 12 & "Glee"The Colbert ReportS7
Superman renounces his U.S. citizenship, Madden NFL 12 adds a concussion rule, and "Glee" glamorizes homosexuality.
Bill JamesThe Colbert ReportS7
Bill James discusses Lizzie Borden's innocence, Winnie Judd's murderous phase and John Wayne Gacy's valuable paintings.
Sign Off - Lupe Fiasco's "Lasers"The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen signs off with Lupe Fiasco's album, "Lasers."
Herman Cain Wins the First Republican Presidential DebateThe Colbert ReportS7
People say Herman Cain is the Republicans' dark horse candidate, but Stephen doesn't see horse color.
Lupe FiascoThe Colbert ReportS7
Lupe Fiasco wears his smart glasses to speak out against Obama, the war on terror and segregation in Chicago.
Hasidic Newspaper Removes Hillary ClintonThe Colbert ReportS7
Brooklyn's Hasidic newspaper removes Hillary Clinton from a photo because there's nothing more sexually suggestive than a woman killing a terrorist.
The Word - Autocratic for the PeopleThe Colbert ReportS7
Michigan's emergency financial manager strips elected officials of power so they don't oppose his ideas to save money.
Intro - 5/9/11The Colbert ReportS7
Mountain Dew Presents Michigan finds a unique solution to the debt crisis, and Lupe Fiasco performs.
Difference Makers - Donald TrumpThe Colbert ReportS7
Donald Trump is a reclusive patriot who has the courage and generosity to erect a huge flagpole on his golf course.
Sign Off - A Rare CorrectionThe Colbert ReportS7
Geoffrey Rush has only won one Academy Award, so he's not that good of an actor.
Yahweh or No Way - Thor & Apocalypse BillboardThe Colbert ReportS7
"Thor" earns $66 million in its opening weekend, and a Family Radio billboard predicts the end of the world.
Newt Gingrich & Donald Trump Announce Future AnnouncementsThe Colbert ReportS7
Newt Gingrich finally announces that he will be making an announcement, and Donald Trump decides to run in his mind.
Geoffrey RushThe Colbert ReportS7
Geoffrey Rush talks about method acting, mentoring Ryan Reynolds but playing a feral eight-year-old.
Herman Cain Claims the Colbert BumpThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen mentioned Herman Cain, but he also talked about Hitler, Lindsay Lohan and Chlamydia.
Eric GreitensThe Colbert ReportS7
Eric Greitens recalls his difficult Navy SEAL training and refuses to trash-talk the other services.
Award to the WiseThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen competes with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and 'Equitrekking' for a Daytime Emmy.
Sign Off - Press HatThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen reports with his press hat and camera.
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