The Colbert Report
Intro - 12/9/09
Season 5 • 12/09/2009
The GOP is having an identity crisis. They can't decide whether they're white or translucent.
The Colbert ReportS5 Andy Schlafly
Andy Schlafly invites the best of the public to translate the Bible on Conservapedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/8/09
Ben Bernanke may lose his job, and Andy Schlafly creates a conservative version of Wikipedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fed's Dead
People like Bernie Sanders want to pull down the Federal Reserve's pantaloons to look at its fiscal naughty parts.
The Colbert ReportS5 How Far Good Parents Will Go
It's sad when only six percent of parents would knock someone over to grab the last toy for their kids.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Goodnight With Krampus
Stephen says goodnight as Krampus shakes his rusty chains.
The Colbert ReportS5 Matt Taibbi
Matt Taibbi discusses Goldman Sachs' unprecedented access and influence on the government.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude - Hallmark & Krampus
Hallmark encourages people to buy greeting cards instead of presents, and the Christmas Krampus visits Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Monkey ThreatDown - Holes & Banana Too High
Stephen appeals to the prized monkey demographic by presenting a Monkey ThreatDown.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Grand Old Purity
The GOP must put moderate Republicans in situations that reveal their true beliefs, like in the movie "Saw."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/9/09
The GOP can't decide whether it's white or translucent, and Matt Taibbi says Goldman Sachs controls the government.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts
Stephen wants to be part of the U.S. bobsledding team, which is comprised of one driver, one brakeman and two human airbags.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts Pt. 2
The members of the U.S. Bobsled Team discuss the importance of sitting in their sport.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts Pt. 3
Stephen tells his bobsled driver to keep the windows up in case things get a little crazy in the back.
The Colbert ReportS5 Lara Logan
Lara Logan weighs in on Obama's complex plan in Afghanistan and explains why Osama bin Laden hasn't been captured.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts Pt. 1
Stephen facilitates some trash talking between the U.S. Bobsled and Skeleton Teams.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts - Team Night Train
The members of Team Night Train teach Stephen how to push and ride his way to glory.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's Nobel Prize Speech & Afghandyland
President Obama accepts his Nobel Peace Prize at a pancake breakfast, and Stephen plays the home version of the Afghan war.
The Colbert ReportS5 Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg works on his acting skills by reading a soap opera script with Stephen.