The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 12/08/2009
Andy Schlafly takes the Internet back for conservatives with Conservapedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill T. Jones
Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/7/09
Stephen inflates his neck pouch to scare off predators and wonders what Disney movie "Fela!" is based on.
The Colbert ReportS5 Who's Attacking Me Now? - G. Edward DeSeve
Stefan Colburt will fight G. Edward DeSeve anywhere in America, like Rhode Island's 65th District.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fed's Dead - Bernie Sanders
Bernie Sanders doesn't want the government to run everything, but he calls for a fairer distribution of wealth and income.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/8/09
Ben Bernanke may lose his job, and Andy Schlafly creates a conservative version of Wikipedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fed's Dead
People like Bernie Sanders want to pull down the Federal Reserve's pantaloons to look at its fiscal naughty parts.
The Colbert ReportS5 How Far Good Parents Will Go
It's sad when only six percent of parents would knock someone over to grab the last toy for their kids.
The Colbert ReportS5 Andy Schlafly
Andy Schlafly invites the best of the public to translate the Bible on Conservapedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Goodnight With Krampus
Stephen says goodnight as Krampus shakes his rusty chains.
The Colbert ReportS5 Matt Taibbi
Matt Taibbi discusses Goldman Sachs' unprecedented access and influence on the government.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude - Hallmark & Krampus
Hallmark encourages people to buy greeting cards instead of presents, and the Christmas Krampus visits Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/9/09
The GOP can't decide whether it's white or translucent, and Matt Taibbi says Goldman Sachs controls the government.
The Colbert ReportS5 Monkey ThreatDown - Holes & Banana Too High
Stephen appeals to the prized monkey demographic by presenting a Monkey ThreatDown.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Grand Old Purity
The GOP must put moderate Republicans in situations that reveal their true beliefs, like in the movie "Saw."
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Bobsled Team Tryouts
Stephen wants to be part of the U.S. bobsledding team, which is comprised of one driver, one brakeman and two human airbags.
The Colbert ReportS5 Lara Logan
Lara Logan weighs in on Obama's complex plan in Afghanistan and explains why Osama bin Laden hasn't been captured.
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