The Colbert Report

Balls for Kidz - Plastic Surgery

Season 2 • 04/04/2006

Stephen calls on America's parents -- and kidz -- to help close the hotness gap.

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00:38

Intro - 4/3/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Michael Smerconish about racial profiling, and a scientist in Texas clones champion racehorses.
04/03/2006
04:33

Stephen's Sound Advice - Taxes
The Colbert ReportS2

He's no longer Stephen Colbert, human. He's Stephen Colbert, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Colbertco.
04/03/2006
03:18

The Word - Stay the Course
The Colbert ReportS2

When it comes to racehorses and politicians, why not make the jump from breeding to cloning?
04/03/2006
05:24

Michael Smerconish
The Colbert ReportS2

If it gets him to his gate faster, Stephen will agree with anything Michael Smerconish says.
04/03/2006
02:28

Who's Honoring Me Now? - Southern Poverty Law Center
The Colbert ReportS2

The Southern Poverty Law Center awards Stephen their highest honor: a gold-stamped certificate of appreciation.
04/03/2006
00:15

Sign Off - Nutz
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen thanks the good people at Nutz soda.
04/03/2006
01:48

DeLay Retires
The Colbert ReportS2

House majority leader Tom DeLay announced his resignation, and Stephen gives him the tribute he deserves.
04/04/2006
00:26

Intro - 4/4/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: America loses another place to hide bodies, a report that will permanently raise your eyebrows and Stephen finds out what Jesse Jackson's up to now that racism is over.
04/04/2006
08:25

Jesse Jackson
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Reverend Jesse Jackson what he thinks of his plan to repopulate New Orleans' abandoned Ninth Ward with illegal immigrants.
04/04/2006
03:11

The Word - Birdie
The Colbert ReportS2

The vocabulahating conservationistas are up-in-arms over the Bush administration redefining the term "wetlands."
04/04/2006
05:45

Balls for Kidz - Plastic Surgery
The Colbert ReportS2

The number of Brazilian girls who elect to have plastic surgery has gone up twelve-fold, creating an international hotness gap.
04/04/2006
00:32

Intro - 4/5/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to author Harvey Mansfield about manliness and Tom DeLay leaves Congress.
04/05/2006
02:22

The Word - Martyr
The Colbert ReportS2

Just as Jesus died for our sins, Tom DeLay's congressional career has died for Jack Abramoff's sins.
04/05/2006
00:02

Sign Off - En Espanol
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen says "goodnight" to his amigos.
04/05/2006
06:40

Harvey Mansfield
The Colbert ReportS2

Harvey Mansfield and Stephen collide in a perfect storm of man musk.
04/05/2006
04:22

Formidable Opponent - Immigration
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen suggests building an enormous waterslide with its top in San Diego and its splash pool in Mexico.
04/05/2006
00:08

Fract - Russian Girls
The Colbert ReportS2

Thank you for saving America, Stephen Colbert.
04/05/2006
05:15

Crying
The Colbert ReportS2

The steel magnolia ya-ya sisterhood of the traveling pants breaks up when Katie Couric leaves the "Today Show."
04/05/2006
02:30

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Peabody Award
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's been shilling for the Peabody Award ever since he started this show -- where's his sugar sugar?
04/06/2006
01:50

Easter Under Attack - Recalled Eggs
The Colbert ReportS2

The Anthony-Thomas Candy Company recalls its Easter eggs because they may contain eggs.
04/06/2006
06:24

Better Know a District - Oregon's 5th - Darlene Hooley
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Congresswoman Darlene Hooley what it's like to represent California's Canada.
04/06/2006
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