The Colbert Report
Obama's Ottoman Empire
Season 8 • 09/26/2012
Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert claims that Barack Obama revived the Ottoman Empire.
Intro - 9/25/12The Colbert ReportS8
The polls disfavor Mitt Romney, the NFL combats outrage, and Claressa Shields is the first female boxer to nab Olympic gold.
Mitt Romney's Airplane Window GaffeThe Colbert ReportS8
Just as Kennedy challenged America to put a man on the moon, Mitt Romney challenges manufacturers to put power windows on planes.
"Rolling Calamity" Campaign & "America Again" PreviewThe Colbert ReportS8
Peggy Noonan calls the Romney campaign a "rolling calamity," and Stephen mails Mitt his new book, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't."
National Journal PollThe Colbert ReportS8
Since the Romney campaign is only on its third reboot, conservatives shouldn't worry about Mitt's negative poll numbers.
Claressa ShieldsThe Colbert ReportS8
American boxer Claressa Shields talks about the London Olympics, weight classes and Stephen's punchable head.
Jim HoltThe Colbert ReportS8
Philosopher Jim Holt tries to solve the mystery of the universe without involving God or scientific laws.
40 Days to Save AmericaThe Colbert ReportS8
Pastor Rick Scarborough's prayer projects seem to work on natural disasters, which is a perfect match for the Romney campaign.
Sign Off - Turkish DelightThe Colbert ReportS8
Tender rosewater candies entice Stephen.
Yom Kippur & AporkalypseThe Colbert ReportS8
Yom Kippur comes to a close, and bacon lovers will die much later than they thought thanks to reduced salt and nitrates in their diets.
Intro - 9/26/12The Colbert ReportS8
The presidential race hinges on prayer, Barack Obama makes America less safe, and author Jim Holt asks why the world exists.
Obama's Ottoman EmpireThe Colbert ReportS8
The bacon shortage is an Islamic conspiracy, and President Obama's disloyalty to murderous dictators means another Turkish Empire.
"Skewed" Presidential PollsThe Colbert ReportS8
One conservative blogger reaches the scientific conclusion that President Obama's poll leads just don't look right.
Sign Off - "America Again"The Colbert ReportS8
Stephen browses his book, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't."
Mitt Romney's Sliding Poll NumbersThe Colbert ReportS8
Mitt Romney shouldn't worry about the election because Obama could still make a gaffe, Mitt could win the debates or God could send a flood to destroy all mankind.
Vince Gilligan Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS8
"Breaking Bad" mastermind Vince Gilligan spends all of his time making the wrong moral choices for Bryan Cranston's character.
Vince Gilligan Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS8
"Breaking Bad" executive producer Vince Gilligan talks about meth street names and human nature.
"America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't"The Colbert ReportS8
Stephen publicizes his latest book, which contains the red, white and blueprint to rebuild America's greatness.
The Word - Supply ChainedThe Colbert ReportS9
Cheap prison labor leaves small manufacturers and unemployed Americans in the dust, but who else can make a toothbrush and a lunch tray into a crossbow?
Ben Folds FiveThe Colbert ReportS9
Alternative rock trio Ben Folds Five says that their band name was supposed to be comical, but even their manager didn't think it wasn't funny.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's UN EntourageThe Colbert ReportS9
America will never cripple Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's regime now that Costco has given his associates unfettered access to Family Pack technology.
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