The Colbert Report

Drone Ducking Tips

Season 9 • 02/26/2013

Al Qaeda makes a tip sheet on how to avoid drones, which includes planting and hiding under trees.

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03:54

Popewatch 2013 - Vatican Sex Parties
The Colbert ReportS9

Media jackals take advantage of Pope Benedict's exit by spreading rumors about a secret network of gay priests and male prostitutes.
02/25/2013
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05:37

Simon Garfield
The Colbert ReportS9

Simon Garfield talks about Christopher Columbus' map fiasco and the biggest badass in the history of mapmaking, Claudius Ptolemy.
02/25/2013
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06:38

The Word - Silent but Deadly
The Colbert ReportS9

President Obama wants the Centers for Disease Control to study guns again, so America faces its old enemy from the 90s: any actual knowledge about guns.
02/25/2013
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00:34

Intro - 2/25/13
The Colbert ReportS9

The Vatican sorts out a scandal, America reduces its number of guns, and Simon Garfield discusses his book about world maps.
02/25/2013
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00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
02/25/2013
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05:54

Michio Kaku
The Colbert ReportS9

"Physics of the Future" author Michio Kaku talks about the Apophis asteroid, set to skim by Earth in 2029 and possibly hit in 2036.
02/26/2013
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00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen zooms out of his chair.
02/26/2013
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04:14

Popewatch Indeschism 2013 - One Pope over the Line
The Colbert ReportS9

After he retires, Pope Benedict XVI will answer to "pope emeritus," wear white papal robes and live in the Vatican alongside the new pope.
02/26/2013
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05:42

Battleground Texas - Jeremy Bird
The Colbert ReportS9

Jeremy Bird describes his Texas initiative to get African Americans, Hispanics, women and young people out to the polls.
02/26/2013
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00:35

Intro - 2/26/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Texas endures big changes, America's drone program alters the war on terror, and physicist Michio Kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the planet.
02/26/2013
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04:20

Drone Ducking Tips
The Colbert ReportS9

The Obama administration continues its extrajudicial robo-assassin spree, so Al Qaeda circulates pointers on how to dodge drone strikes.
02/26/2013
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03:28

John Kerry's Dumb Talk
The Colbert ReportS9

Secretary of State John Kerry travels to nine nations, champions free speech and invents the country "Kyrzakhstan," a mix between Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan.
02/27/2013
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03:49

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo - Neal Katyal
The Colbert ReportS9

The former Acting Solicitor General talks about the U.S. justice system, courtroom bugging and the future of Guantanamo Bay.
02/27/2013
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04:08

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo
The Colbert ReportS9

Guantanamo Bay hosts a one-of-a-kind military tribunal, designed by President Bush, implemented by President Obama, and inspired by President Kafka.
02/27/2013
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03:15

Halls Mentho-Lyptus Cough Drops
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen files paperwork to change Jay the Intern's name to "Halls Mentho-Lyptus with Triple Soothing Action Presents Jay the Intern."
02/27/2013
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00:36

Intro - 2/27/13
The Colbert ReportS9

A Gitmo inmate goes on trial, John Kerry replaces Hillary Clinton, and MoMA curator Paola Antonelli joins Stephen.
02/27/2013
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05:36

Budget Sequestration
The Colbert ReportS9

Because Democrats and Republicans failed to reach an agreement over the debt ceiling, Obama's sequester will cripple programs that both sides love.
02/28/2013
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00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
02/28/2013
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00:32

Intro - 2/28/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Pope Benedict XVI fulfills his last day in office, the sequester hangs over America, and speechwriter Jon Favreau discusses working for Barack Obama.
02/28/2013
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04:45

Pope TBD & Souvenir Sales
The Colbert ReportS9

Tailors make three different vestments to fit any incoming papal body shape, and Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia sales skyrocket in Vatican City.
02/28/2013
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06:15

Jon Favreau
The Colbert ReportS9

President Obama's former speechwriter talks about his collaborative writing process and the importance of storytelling versus sound bites.
02/28/2013
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