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The Colbert Report
Drone Ducking Tips
Season 9 • 02/26/2013
Al Qaeda makes a tip sheet on how to avoid drones, which includes planting and hiding under trees.
More
Watching
03:54
The Colbert Report
S9
Popewatch 2013 - Vatican Sex Parties
Media jackals take advantage of Pope Benedict's exit by spreading rumors about a secret network of gay priests and male prostitutes.
02/25/2013
05:37
The Colbert Report
S9
Simon Garfield
Simon Garfield talks about Christopher Columbus' map fiasco and the biggest badass in the history of mapmaking, Claudius Ptolemy.
02/25/2013
06:38
The Colbert Report
S9
The Word - Silent but Deadly
President Obama wants the Centers for Disease Control to study guns again, so America faces its old enemy from the 90s: any actual knowledge about guns.
02/25/2013
00:34
The Colbert Report
S9
Intro - 2/25/13
The Vatican sorts out a scandal, America reduces its number of guns, and Simon Garfield discusses his book about world maps.
02/25/2013
00:06
The Colbert Report
S9
Sign Off - Goodnight
Stephen says goodnight.
02/25/2013
05:54
The Colbert Report
S9
Michio Kaku
"Physics of the Future" author Michio Kaku talks about the Apophis asteroid, set to skim by Earth in 2029 and possibly hit in 2036.
02/26/2013
00:06
The Colbert Report
S9
Sign Off - Goodnight
Stephen zooms out of his chair.
02/26/2013
04:14
The Colbert Report
S9
Popewatch Indeschism 2013 - One Pope over the Line
After he retires, Pope Benedict XVI will answer to "pope emeritus," wear white papal robes and live in the Vatican alongside the new pope.
02/26/2013
05:42
The Colbert Report
S9
Battleground Texas - Jeremy Bird
Jeremy Bird describes his Texas initiative to get African Americans, Hispanics, women and young people out to the polls.
02/26/2013
00:35
The Colbert Report
S9
Intro - 2/26/13
Texas endures big changes, America's drone program alters the war on terror, and physicist Michio Kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the planet.
02/26/2013
04:20
The Colbert Report
S9
Drone Ducking Tips
The Obama administration continues its extrajudicial robo-assassin spree, so Al Qaeda circulates pointers on how to dodge drone strikes.
02/26/2013
03:28
The Colbert Report
S9
John Kerry's Dumb Talk
Secretary of State John Kerry travels to nine nations, champions free speech and invents the country "Kyrzakhstan," a mix between Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan.
02/27/2013
03:49
The Colbert Report
S9
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo - Neal Katyal
The former Acting Solicitor General talks about the U.S. justice system, courtroom bugging and the future of Guantanamo Bay.
02/27/2013
04:08
The Colbert Report
S9
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo
Guantanamo Bay hosts a one-of-a-kind military tribunal, designed by President Bush, implemented by President Obama, and inspired by President Kafka.
02/27/2013
03:15
The Colbert Report
S9
Halls Mentho-Lyptus Cough Drops
Stephen files paperwork to change Jay the Intern's name to "Halls Mentho-Lyptus with Triple Soothing Action Presents Jay the Intern."
02/27/2013
00:36
The Colbert Report
S9
Intro - 2/27/13
A Gitmo inmate goes on trial, John Kerry replaces Hillary Clinton, and MoMA curator Paola Antonelli joins Stephen.
02/27/2013
05:36
The Colbert Report
S9
Budget Sequestration
Because Democrats and Republicans failed to reach an agreement over the debt ceiling, Obama's sequester will cripple programs that both sides love.
02/28/2013
00:06
The Colbert Report
S9
Sign Off - Goodnight
Stephen says goodnight.
02/28/2013
00:32
The Colbert Report
S9
Intro - 2/28/13
Pope Benedict XVI fulfills his last day in office, the sequester hangs over America, and speechwriter Jon Favreau discusses working for Barack Obama.
02/28/2013
04:45
The Colbert Report
S9
Pope TBD & Souvenir Sales
Tailors make three different vestments to fit any incoming papal body shape, and Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia sales skyrocket in Vatican City.
02/28/2013
06:15
The Colbert Report
S9
Jon Favreau
President Obama's former speechwriter talks about his collaborative writing process and the importance of storytelling versus sound bites.
02/28/2013
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Every moment, every character and every yada, yada, yada of Seinfeld is now on Comedy Central.
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