The Colbert Report

Drone Ducking Tips

Season 9 • 02/26/2013

Al Qaeda makes a tip sheet on how to avoid drones, which includes planting and hiding under trees.

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03:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Popewatch 2013 - Vatican Sex Parties

Media jackals take advantage of Pope Benedict's exit by spreading rumors about a secret network of gay priests and male prostitutes.
02/25/2013
05:37

The Colbert ReportS9
Simon Garfield

Simon Garfield talks about Christopher Columbus' map fiasco and the biggest badass in the history of mapmaking, Claudius Ptolemy.
02/25/2013
06:38

The Colbert ReportS9
The Word - Silent but Deadly

President Obama wants the Centers for Disease Control to study guns again, so America faces its old enemy from the 90s: any actual knowledge about guns.
02/25/2013
00:34

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 2/25/13

The Vatican sorts out a scandal, America reduces its number of guns, and Simon Garfield discusses his book about world maps.
02/25/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
02/25/2013
05:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Michio Kaku

"Physics of the Future" author Michio Kaku talks about the Apophis asteroid, set to skim by Earth in 2029 and possibly hit in 2036.
02/26/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen zooms out of his chair.
02/26/2013
04:14

The Colbert ReportS9
Popewatch Indeschism 2013 - One Pope over the Line

After he retires, Pope Benedict XVI will answer to "pope emeritus," wear white papal robes and live in the Vatican alongside the new pope.
02/26/2013
05:42

The Colbert ReportS9
Battleground Texas - Jeremy Bird

Jeremy Bird describes his Texas initiative to get African Americans, Hispanics, women and young people out to the polls.
02/26/2013
00:35

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 2/26/13

Texas endures big changes, America's drone program alters the war on terror, and physicist Michio Kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the planet.
02/26/2013
04:20

The Colbert ReportS9
Drone Ducking Tips

The Obama administration continues its extrajudicial robo-assassin spree, so Al Qaeda circulates pointers on how to dodge drone strikes.
02/26/2013
03:28

The Colbert ReportS9
John Kerry's Dumb Talk

Secretary of State John Kerry travels to nine nations, champions free speech and invents the country "Kyrzakhstan," a mix between Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan.
02/27/2013
03:49

The Colbert ReportS9
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo - Neal Katyal

The former Acting Solicitor General talks about the U.S. justice system, courtroom bugging and the future of Guantanamo Bay.
02/27/2013
04:08

The Colbert ReportS9
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Trial at Gitmo

Guantanamo Bay hosts a one-of-a-kind military tribunal, designed by President Bush, implemented by President Obama, and inspired by President Kafka.
02/27/2013
03:15

The Colbert ReportS9
Halls Mentho-Lyptus Cough Drops

Stephen files paperwork to change Jay the Intern's name to "Halls Mentho-Lyptus with Triple Soothing Action Presents Jay the Intern."
02/27/2013
00:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 2/27/13

A Gitmo inmate goes on trial, John Kerry replaces Hillary Clinton, and MoMA curator Paola Antonelli joins Stephen.
02/27/2013
05:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Budget Sequestration

Because Democrats and Republicans failed to reach an agreement over the debt ceiling, Obama's sequester will cripple programs that both sides love.
02/28/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
02/28/2013
00:32

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 2/28/13

Pope Benedict XVI fulfills his last day in office, the sequester hangs over America, and speechwriter Jon Favreau discusses working for Barack Obama.
02/28/2013
04:45

The Colbert ReportS9
Pope TBD & Souvenir Sales

Tailors make three different vestments to fit any incoming papal body shape, and Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia sales skyrocket in Vatican City.
02/28/2013
06:15

The Colbert ReportS9
Jon Favreau

President Obama's former speechwriter talks about his collaborative writing process and the importance of storytelling versus sound bites.
02/28/2013
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