The Colbert Report
The Word - Illusion
Season 3 • 05/10/2007
If a magician loses his secrets, he'll starve. He has no other skills.
Intro - 5/9/07The Colbert ReportS3
Newspapers stop running book reviews, Fred Thompson's acting career may hurt his chances for a presidential run, and Stephen asks Jane Fonda about "The Flying Nun" years.
Jane FondaThe Colbert ReportS3
Jane Fonda sits in Stephen's lap and tells him she's been dreaming about his lips ever since she was on the first time.
Thompson FussThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes a closer look at Fred Thompson's acting career to help gauge his prospects for 2008.
Formal RequestThe Colbert ReportS3
To all you governors who might find themselves knee deep in wreckage, Stephen knows the proper way to formally request federal aid.
Jann WennerThe Colbert ReportS3
Jann Wenner, founder of Rolling Stone, predicts that Foghat will be hot in 40 years.
Sign Off - Time CapsuleThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen buries a DVD of tonight's show to be dug up and aired in 100 years.
Intro - 5/10/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with Rolling Stone Magazine founder Jann Wenner, and Japanese magicians sue TV stations for revealing their secrets.
Hometown Hero Town - Naperville, ILThe Colbert ReportS3
In Naperville, if you're too drunk to drive, you can get your car towed to your house.
He's Singing in KoreanThe Colbert ReportS3
In order to reign in Korean pop star Rain, Stephen shows his own influential Korean R&B music video.
The In-Box - Doctor ColbertThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. B. accuses Stephen of being irresponsible by posing as a medical professional.
The Word - IllusionThe Colbert ReportS3
When someone reveals how things are done, we need to resist the impulse to understand the mystery.
Intro - 5/14/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen ponders President Bush's replacement for Tony Blair, the cool guy in movies becomes hard to find and William Langewiesche talks nuclear weapons.
The Word - Supporting RoleThe Colbert ReportS3
As the replacement for Tony Blair is considered, Stephen suggests someone with a good accent. Ian McKellen works because he makes things like the war sound smart.
Stealing Lincoln's BodyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen gives detailed instruction for how to properly steal Abraham Lincoln's body and adds a moldering stovepipe hat to the bookshelf.
Tip/Wag - Mitt RomneyThe Colbert ReportS3
Mitt Romney gets a wag of the finger for speaking out against polygamy while the Boston Pops get a tip of the hat for having audience members who rumble.
William LangewiescheThe Colbert ReportS3
William Langewiesche explains to Stephen why America shouldn't spend too much time worrying about other nations getting the nuclear bomb.
Ferrari ListThe Colbert ReportS3
As Stephen was getting ready to buy a new Ferrari, he learned that there's a shortage and a waiting list. Luckily, he's next in line on a kidney list and willing to trade.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Michael WileyThe Colbert ReportS3
Triple amputee Michael Wiley tore down the wall of stereotype, showing that disabled people are not always nice, sweet and innocent, but mean and great at driving.
Walter IsaacsonThe Colbert ReportS3
Walter Isaacson speaks to Stephen about Albert Einstein's rebellious childhood and how he used the Nobel Prize to get his wife to divorce him.
The Word - Heated DebateThe Colbert ReportS3
Barry Lucier shouldn't be forced to watch movies he doesn't agree with -- college is not a place to learn new ideas.
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