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The Colbert Report
Bill T. Jones
Season 5 • 12/07/2009
Bill T. Jones suggests listening to Fela Kuti's music with your head and your hips.
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Watching
00:31
Intro - 12/3/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Tiger Woods says he's sorry, Stephen has Olympic fever, and Janet Napolitano isn't securing the homeland.
12/03/2009
02:34
Tiger's Tale
The Colbert Report
S5
Tiger Woods didn't realize that cheating is a sacred institution between one man, one woman and one other woman.
12/03/2009
05:26
Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts - Zach Lund
The Colbert Report
S5
Zach Lund gives Stephen the history of skeleton racing before helping him try out for the Olympic team.
12/03/2009
06:04
Janet Napolitano
The Colbert Report
S5
Janet Napolitano discusses America's border security and explains why she doesn't believe in the color-coded terror alert level.
12/03/2009
00:25
Sign Off - Welcome Sean Julien
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Sean Julien.
12/03/2009
04:30
Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen isn't attending the Vancouver Olympics just to ombud -- he's going as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.
12/03/2009
04:39
Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Colbert Report
S5
The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
12/07/2009
02:05
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
The Colbert Report
S5
Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
12/07/2009
00:35
Intro - 12/7/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen inflates his neck pouch to scare off predators and wonders what Disney movie "Fela!" is based on.
12/07/2009
03:04
Who's Attacking Me Now? - G. Edward DeSeve
The Colbert Report
S5
Stefan Colburt will fight G. Edward DeSeve anywhere in America, like Rhode Island's 65th District.
12/07/2009
04:49
Bill T. Jones
The Colbert Report
S5
Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
12/07/2009
05:02
Fed's Dead - Bernie Sanders
The Colbert Report
S5
Bernie Sanders doesn't want the government to run everything, but he calls for a fairer distribution of wealth and income.
12/08/2009
07:18
Andy Schlafly
The Colbert Report
S5
Andy Schlafly invites the best of the public to translate the Bible on Conservapedia.
12/08/2009
00:31
Intro - 12/8/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Ben Bernanke may lose his job, and Andy Schlafly creates a conservative version of Wikipedia.
12/08/2009
00:02
Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert Report
S5
That's it for the show, everybody.
12/08/2009
05:32
Fed's Dead
The Colbert Report
S5
People like Bernie Sanders want to pull down the Federal Reserve's pantaloons to look at its fiscal naughty parts.
12/08/2009
01:22
How Far Good Parents Will Go
The Colbert Report
S5
It's sad when only six percent of parents would knock someone over to grab the last toy for their kids.
12/08/2009
00:06
Sign Off - Goodnight With Krampus
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen says goodnight as Krampus shakes his rusty chains.
12/09/2009
06:52
Matt Taibbi
The Colbert Report
S5
Matt Taibbi discusses Goldman Sachs' unprecedented access and influence on the government.
12/09/2009
04:35
The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude - Hallmark & Krampus
The Colbert Report
S5
Hallmark encourages people to buy greeting cards instead of presents, and the Christmas Krampus visits Stephen.
12/09/2009
00:35
Intro - 12/9/09
The Colbert Report
S5
The GOP can't decide whether it's white or translucent, and Matt Taibbi says Goldman Sachs controls the government.
12/09/2009
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