The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Welcome Zachary Paul Dahm
Season 7 • 03/01/2011
Stephen welcomes baby Zachary Paul Dahm to the Colbert Nation.
Tip/Wag - Joe Reed & Levi's Ex-Girlfriend JeansThe Colbert ReportS7
Montana Representative Joe Reed legislates scientific fact on global warming, and Levi's introduces ex-girlfriend jeans.
Art Stephen Up Challenge - Phillips de Pury AuctionThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen announces the Phillips de Pury auction and unveils a new artistic interpretation of his portrait in which he appears to be part duck.
Intro - 2/28/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen deals with climate change by staying inside, and Michael Scheuer has no trouble finding a publisher for his book about Osama bin Laden.
Anonymous Hacks The Colbert ReportThe Colbert ReportS7
It's no surprise that Anonymous hacked The Colbert Report since they've been hacking Stephen's bathroom scale for years.
Michael ScheuerThe Colbert ReportS7
Michael Scheuer believes the war on terror has barely begun because the American people don't have a clue about why they're being attacked.
Evan OsnosThe Colbert ReportS7
Evan Osnos believes America needs to be working as hard as China if it wants to come up with the next big technological idea.
Muammar al-Gaddafi Competes With Charlie SheenThe Colbert ReportS7
Muammar al-Gaddafi tries to grab the limelight back from Charlie Sheen by sitting down with Christiane Amanpour.
Intro - 3/1/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen looks at the growing gap between rich and poor, addresses America's elderly and talks to Evan Osnos about the Oscars.
The Word - New Country for Old MenThe Colbert ReportS7
The newly formed America Plus will still maintain normal diplomatic relations with poor America.
Senior Moment - Geriatric PornThe Colbert ReportS7
It's time for America's freeloading seniors to turn on the camera and start giving each other the early bird special.
Sign Off - Welcome Zachary Paul DahmThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Zachary Paul Dahm.
Eulogy SpotThe Colbert ReportS7
Pope Benedict XVI doesn't blame the Jews for Jesus' death, and anti-Obama obituaries give a new voice to America's silent majority.
Sign Off - Demise of the White PagesThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen honors the passing of the greatest American book since the Bible.
Wisconsin Prank Call BillThe Colbert ReportS7
Bill O'Reilly shows violent footage while talking about the peaceful Wisconsin teachers' union protests, and Republicans sponsor a bill that will prohibit prank calls.
The Word - Economic BoomThe Colbert ReportS7
The defense budget cannot get cut because making instruments of destruction is as American as napalm pie.
Intro - 3/2/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen hopes he's not the surprise on the obituary page, and Harry Connick, Jr. won't be tickling the ivories.
Mark MoffettThe Colbert ReportS7
Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
Fox News Suspends ContributorsThe Colbert ReportS7
Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
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