The Colbert Report

Mark Moffett

Season 7 • 03/03/2011

Mark Moffett believes that bees are the hardest working domesticated animals.

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03:51

Senior Moment - Geriatric Porn
The Colbert ReportS7

It's time for America's freeloading seniors to turn on the camera and start giving each other the early bird special.
03/01/2011
02:26

Eulogy Spot
The Colbert ReportS7

Pope Benedict XVI doesn't blame the Jews for Jesus' death, and anti-Obama obituaries give a new voice to America's silent majority.
03/02/2011
01:25

Sign Off - Demise of the White Pages
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen honors the passing of the greatest American book since the Bible.
03/02/2011
04:23

Wisconsin Prank Call Bill
The Colbert ReportS7

Bill O'Reilly shows violent footage while talking about the peaceful Wisconsin teachers' union protests, and Republicans sponsor a bill that will prohibit prank calls.
03/02/2011
05:11

The Word - Economic Boom
The Colbert ReportS7

The defense budget cannot get cut because making instruments of destruction is as American as napalm pie.
03/02/2011
00:33

Intro - 3/2/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen hopes he's not the surprise on the obituary page, and Harry Connick, Jr. won't be tickling the ivories.
03/02/2011
02:28

Fox News Suspends Contributors
The Colbert ReportS7

Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
03/03/2011
06:43

Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy Fallon
The Colbert ReportS7

The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
03/03/2011
04:36

Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy Fallon
The Colbert ReportS7

Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
03/03/2011
00:10

Sign Off - Late Night Snack
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen's got to say that Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack flavor is pretty good.
03/03/2011
05:30

Mark Moffett
The Colbert ReportS7

Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
03/03/2011
06:25

On Notice - Mike Huckabee
The Colbert ReportS7

Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report.
03/07/2011
06:02

Joshua Foer
The Colbert ReportS7

Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
03/07/2011
02:12

Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's Portrait
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
03/07/2011
02:33

America's Next GOP Model
The Colbert ReportS7

Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
03/07/2011
02:45

Stephen Wants an iPad 2
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
03/07/2011
00:35

Intro - 3/7/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
03/07/2011
03:59

Light Bulb Ban - Dale Bryk
The Colbert ReportS7

Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
03/08/2011
00:37

Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone Sanchez
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
03/08/2011
06:03

Dan Sinker
The Colbert ReportS7

Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
03/08/2011
02:13

Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's Day
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
03/08/2011
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