The Colbert Report
Season 7 • 03/03/2011
Mark Moffett believes that bees are the hardest working domesticated animals.
Senior Moment - Geriatric PornThe Colbert ReportS7
It's time for America's freeloading seniors to turn on the camera and start giving each other the early bird special.
Eulogy SpotThe Colbert ReportS7
Pope Benedict XVI doesn't blame the Jews for Jesus' death, and anti-Obama obituaries give a new voice to America's silent majority.
Sign Off - Demise of the White PagesThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen honors the passing of the greatest American book since the Bible.
Wisconsin Prank Call BillThe Colbert ReportS7
Bill O'Reilly shows violent footage while talking about the peaceful Wisconsin teachers' union protests, and Republicans sponsor a bill that will prohibit prank calls.
The Word - Economic BoomThe Colbert ReportS7
The defense budget cannot get cut because making instruments of destruction is as American as napalm pie.
Intro - 3/2/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen hopes he's not the surprise on the obituary page, and Harry Connick, Jr. won't be tickling the ivories.
Fox News Suspends ContributorsThe Colbert ReportS7
Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
Sign Off - Late Night SnackThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen's got to say that Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack flavor is pretty good.
Mark MoffettThe Colbert ReportS7
Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
On Notice - Mike HuckabeeThe Colbert ReportS7
Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report.
Joshua FoerThe Colbert ReportS7
Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's PortraitThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
America's Next GOP ModelThe Colbert ReportS7
Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
Stephen Wants an iPad 2The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
Intro - 3/7/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
Light Bulb Ban - Dale BrykThe Colbert ReportS7
Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone SanchezThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
Dan SinkerThe Colbert ReportS7
Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
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