The Colbert Report
Cinco de Mayo Precautions
Season 5 • 05/05/2009
Stephen will not let the swine flu pandemic scare him out of Cinco de Mayo fun.
The Colbert ReportS5 Code Word - Empathy
Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Prescott Group Bailout
Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
The Colbert ReportS5 J.J. Abrams
J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home
Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
The Colbert ReportS5 Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition
"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - iTeam
Unless Apple has an application called iTeam, there's no "I" in team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Paul Rieckhoff
Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
The Colbert ReportS5 Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan
Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court
Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/5/09
Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cinco de Mayo Precautions
This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
The Colbert ReportS5 Laurie Garrett
Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
The Colbert ReportS5 Colbert-Branson Duel
Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man
The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
The Colbert ReportS5 Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia
Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/6/09
President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.
The Colbert ReportS5 Hug Your Television
If you can't stand being apart from Stephen, pause the screen and hug your TV for 23 1/2 hours.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/7/09
It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.
The Colbert ReportS5 Clasp Your Hands Say Yahweh
To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen amps up his own National Day of Prayer prayer with his special Prayer Reportnalia and the Danciples.
The Colbert ReportS5 Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation
Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
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