The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 05/04/2009
J.J. Abrams helps reveal the mystery of where and when Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf.
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's SloganThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
Ethan NadelmannThe Colbert ReportS5
Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
President Obama - The First 14 MondaysThe Colbert ReportS5
The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan AlterThe Colbert ReportS5
Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
Intro - 4/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
The After ShowThe Colbert ReportS5
Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
Code Word - EmpathyThe Colbert ReportS5
Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
The Prescott Group BailoutThe Colbert ReportS5
Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
Sign Off - Colbert Nation HomeThe Colbert ReportS5
Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
J.J. AbramsThe Colbert ReportS5
J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
Sign Off - iTeamThe Colbert ReportS5
Unless Apple has an application called iTeam, there's no "I" in team.
Paul RieckhoffThe Colbert ReportS5
Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff SloanThe Colbert ReportS5
Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
Cinco de Mayo PrecautionsThe Colbert ReportS5
This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
The Word - Captain Kangaroo CourtThe Colbert ReportS5
Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
Intro - 5/5/09The Colbert ReportS5
Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
Laurie GarrettThe Colbert ReportS5
Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
Colbert-Branson DuelThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best ManThe Colbert ReportS5
The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
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