The Colbert Report

J.J. Abrams

Season 5 • 05/04/2009

J.J. Abrams helps reveal the mystery of where and when Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf.

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02:01

Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's Slogan
The Colbert ReportS5

Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
04/29/2009
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05:22

Ethan Nadelmann
The Colbert ReportS5

Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
04/30/2009
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08:37

President Obama - The First 14 Mondays
The Colbert ReportS5

The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
04/30/2009
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04:49

Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan Alter
The Colbert ReportS5

Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
04/30/2009
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00:24

Intro - 4/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
04/30/2009
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00:14

The After Show
The Colbert ReportS5

Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
04/30/2009
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03:22

Code Word - Empathy
The Colbert ReportS5

Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
05/04/2009
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03:47

The Prescott Group Bailout
The Colbert ReportS5

Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
05/04/2009
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00:23

Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home
The Colbert ReportS5

Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
05/04/2009
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05:56

Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
05/04/2009
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05:54

J.J. Abrams
The Colbert ReportS5

J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
05/04/2009
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00:19

Sign Off - iTeam
The Colbert ReportS5

Unless Apple has an application called iTeam, there's no "I" in team.
05/05/2009
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05:43

Paul Rieckhoff
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
05/05/2009
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05:15

Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan
The Colbert ReportS5

Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
05/05/2009
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01:50

Cinco de Mayo Precautions
The Colbert ReportS5

This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
05/05/2009
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05:57

The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court
The Colbert ReportS5

Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
05/05/2009
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00:33

Intro - 5/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
05/05/2009
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05:47

Laurie Garrett
The Colbert ReportS5

Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
05/06/2009
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04:48

Colbert-Branson Duel
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
05/06/2009
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03:31

Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man
The Colbert ReportS5

The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
05/06/2009
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04:47

Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia
The Colbert ReportS5

Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
05/06/2009
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