The Colbert Report

J.J. Abrams

Season 5 • 05/04/2009

J.J. Abrams helps reveal the mystery of where and when Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf.

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02:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's Slogan

Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
04/29/2009
05:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Ethan Nadelmann

Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
04/30/2009
08:37

The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama - The First 14 Mondays

The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
04/30/2009
04:49

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan Alter

Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
04/30/2009
00:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/30/09

President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
04/30/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
The After Show

Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
04/30/2009
03:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Code Word - Empathy

Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
05/04/2009
03:47

The Colbert ReportS5
The Prescott Group Bailout

Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
05/04/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home

Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
05/04/2009
05:56

The Colbert ReportS5
Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition

"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
05/04/2009
05:54

The Colbert ReportS5
J.J. Abrams

J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
05/04/2009
00:19

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - iTeam

Unless Apple has an application called iTeam, there's no "I" in team.
05/05/2009
05:43

The Colbert ReportS5
Paul Rieckhoff

Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
05/05/2009
05:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan

Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
05/05/2009
01:50

The Colbert ReportS5
Cinco de Mayo Precautions

This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
05/05/2009
05:57

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court

Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
05/05/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 5/5/09

Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
05/05/2009
05:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Laurie Garrett

Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
05/06/2009
04:48

The Colbert ReportS5
Colbert-Branson Duel

Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
05/06/2009
03:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man

The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
05/06/2009
04:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia

Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
05/06/2009
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