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The Colbert Report
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About
The Colbert Report
Laurie Garrett
Season 5 • 05/06/2009
Laurie Garrett explains why pigs are walking, talking, eating, pooping Petri dishes.
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Watching
05:43
Paul Rieckhoff
The Colbert Report
S5
Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
05/05/2009
05:15
Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan
The Colbert Report
S5
Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
05/05/2009
01:50
Cinco de Mayo Precautions
The Colbert Report
S5
This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
05/05/2009
05:57
The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court
The Colbert Report
S5
Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
05/05/2009
00:33
Intro - 5/5/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
05/05/2009
04:48
Colbert-Branson Duel
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
05/06/2009
03:31
Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man
The Colbert Report
S5
The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
05/06/2009
04:47
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia
The Colbert Report
S5
Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
05/06/2009
00:38
Intro - 5/6/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.
05/06/2009
00:20
Hug Your Television
The Colbert Report
S5
If you can't stand being apart from Stephen, pause the screen and hug your TV for 23 1/2 hours.
05/06/2009
05:47
Laurie Garrett
The Colbert Report
S5
Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
05/06/2009
00:34
Intro - 5/7/09
The Colbert Report
S5
It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.
05/07/2009
04:46
Clasp Your Hands Say Yahweh
The Colbert Report
S5
To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen amps up his own National Day of Prayer prayer with his special Prayer Reportnalia and the Danciples.
05/07/2009
03:31
Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation
The Colbert Report
S5
Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
05/07/2009
06:35
Mitchell Joachim
The Colbert Report
S5
Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
05/07/2009
00:14
Spay and Neuter Your Pets
The Colbert Report
S5
Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
05/07/2009
04:02
Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree
The Colbert Report
S5
Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
05/07/2009
00:15
Sign Off - Unicorn Dealership
The Colbert Report
S5
If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
05/11/2009
00:30
Intro - 5/11/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
05/11/2009
02:53
Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye
The Colbert Report
S5
The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
05/11/2009
03:22
Stephen's Fancy Feast
The Colbert Report
S5
When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
05/11/2009
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Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
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Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday
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12/20/2021