The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 05/06/2009
Laurie Garrett explains why pigs are walking, talking, eating, pooping Petri dishes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Paul Rieckhoff
Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
The Colbert ReportS5 Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan
Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cinco de Mayo Precautions
This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court
Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/5/09
Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colbert-Branson Duel
Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man
The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
The Colbert ReportS5 Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia
Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/6/09
President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.
The Colbert ReportS5 Hug Your Television
If you can't stand being apart from Stephen, pause the screen and hug your TV for 23 1/2 hours.
The Colbert ReportS5 Laurie Garrett
Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/7/09
It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.
The Colbert ReportS5 Clasp Your Hands Say Yahweh
To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen amps up his own National Day of Prayer prayer with his special Prayer Reportnalia and the Danciples.
The Colbert ReportS5 Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation
Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
The Colbert ReportS5 Mitchell Joachim
Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
The Colbert ReportS5 Spay and Neuter Your Pets
Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
The Colbert ReportS5 Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree
Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Unicorn Dealership
If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/11/09
Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye
The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
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