The Colbert Report

Laurie Garrett

Season 5 • 05/06/2009

Laurie Garrett explains why pigs are walking, talking, eating, pooping Petri dishes.

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05:43

Paul Rieckhoff
The Colbert ReportS5

Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.
05/05/2009
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05:15

Picking a New Supreme Court Justice - Cliff Sloan
The Colbert ReportS5

Cliff Sloan estimates that the odds on the new Supreme Court justice being a white male are close to zero, even if that male is Stephen.
05/05/2009
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01:50

Cinco de Mayo Precautions
The Colbert ReportS5

This year, Stephen celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a quarantined three-bean dip and a Hazmat-suited pinata filled with Tamiflu.
05/05/2009
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05:57

The Word - Captain Kangaroo Court
The Colbert ReportS5

Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney should have to explain their nuanced rationale for torture to a jury of children.
05/05/2009
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00:33

Intro - 5/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Who should be the new Supreme Court justice? Here's a hint: Stephen's two days away from an online degree.
05/05/2009
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04:48

Colbert-Branson Duel
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen challenges Richard Branson to a chicken fight with a couple of nude models on their backs.
05/06/2009
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03:31

Tip/Wag - Forced Smoking & Grizzly Best Man
The Colbert ReportS5

The Gong'an county government in China orders its staff to smoke cigarettes, and a groom chooses a bear as his best man.
05/06/2009
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04:47

Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Saudi Arabia
The Colbert ReportS5

Before his trip to the Persian Gulf, Stephen will pack clean underwear and swallow an Argentine shiraz-filled condom.
05/06/2009
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00:38

Intro - 5/6/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.
05/06/2009
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00:20

Hug Your Television
The Colbert ReportS5

If you can't stand being apart from Stephen, pause the screen and hug your TV for 23 1/2 hours.
05/06/2009
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05:47

Laurie Garrett
The Colbert ReportS5

Laurie Garrett warns that the bird virus in Indonesia is 850 times as bad as the swine flu, though the piggies are right outside our door..
05/06/2009
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00:34

Intro - 5/7/09
The Colbert ReportS5

It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.
05/07/2009
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04:46

Clasp Your Hands Say Yahweh
The Colbert ReportS5

To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen amps up his own National Day of Prayer prayer with his special Prayer Reportnalia and the Danciples.
05/07/2009
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03:31

Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation
The Colbert ReportS5

Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
05/07/2009
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06:35

Mitchell Joachim
The Colbert ReportS5

Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
05/07/2009
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00:14

Spay and Neuter Your Pets
The Colbert ReportS5

Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
05/07/2009
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04:02

Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree
The Colbert ReportS5

Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
05/07/2009
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00:15

Sign Off - Unicorn Dealership
The Colbert ReportS5

If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
05/11/2009
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00:30

Intro - 5/11/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
05/11/2009
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02:53

Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye
The Colbert ReportS5

The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
05/11/2009
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03:22

Stephen's Fancy Feast
The Colbert ReportS5

When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
05/11/2009
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