The Colbert Report

Self-Marriage Problems

Season 8 • 06/05/2012

Same-sex marriage is a slippery slope to even freakier stuff, like self-commitment.

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05:22

The Word - Sink or Swim
The Colbert ReportS8

Scientists predict an economy-destroying, 39-inch sea level rise, but North Carolina drafts a law to make it eight inches.
06/04/2012
04:58

Better Know a District - Represent-O-Map 6000 & Georgia's 5th
The Colbert ReportS8

Nancy Pelosi and the Represent-O-Map 6000 boost representative bookings, and Stephen profiles Georgia's 5th congressional district.
06/04/2012
03:38

Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-Talk
The Colbert ReportS8

America's leaders speak the high school language of "angry glares at the dinner table," while Barack Obama talks like an eighth-grader.
06/04/2012
06:43

John Lewis
The Colbert ReportS8

Congressman John Lewis recalls the 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery March, America's segregation and his mentor Martin Luther King, Jr.
06/04/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight.
06/04/2012
04:12

CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
The Colbert ReportS8

Zombie-like attacks suggest a growing urban trend, but America's top emergency doctors declare that zombies do not exist.
06/05/2012
06:50

Tip/Wag - Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied Toys
The Colbert ReportS8

Japanese diet glasses reduce Oreo intake, America is the gold standard of sperm, and Dutch artist Bart Jansen converts his dead cat into a model helicopter.
06/05/2012
00:35

Intro - 6/5/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The U.S. reveals its latest export, traditional marriage faces assault, and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden talks about her children's book.
06/05/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight.
06/05/2012
05:33

Jill Biden
The Colbert ReportS8

Second Lady Jill Biden describes her passion for teaching, the resilience of military families, and her "Vice team" leadership.
06/05/2012
03:40

Self-Marriage Problems
The Colbert ReportS8

A North Dakota woman marries herself, and Stephen envisions all the societal pressure once self-marriage becomes the norm.
06/05/2012
04:13

Wisconsin's Recall Results
The Colbert ReportS8

Governor Scott Walker wins the Wisconsin recall election, so Stephen celebrates the end of America's unions.
06/06/2012
03:57

Transit of Venus & Mars Reality Show Pitch
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen's sun-gazing pays off, and the private sector offers Americans the chance to pick up and move to Mars.
06/06/2012
06:24

Neil Patrick Harris
The Colbert ReportS8

Actor Neil Patrick Harris discusses hosting the Tony Awards, performing on Broadway and playing a convincing straight guy on "How I Met Your Mother."
06/06/2012
00:59

Sign Off - Ray Bradbury Tribute
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen pays a fireside tribute to sci-fi legend Ray Bradbury, author of "Fahrenheit 451" and "The Illustrated Man."
06/06/2012
05:23

Difference Makers - Larry Johnson
The Colbert ReportS8

Bald Knob's Pastor Larry Johnson takes action to eliminate local bingo junkies at the senior center.
06/06/2012
03:35

Corruption on Pakistan's "Sesame Street"
The Colbert ReportS8

The U.S. pulls funding from Pakistan's "Sesame Street," even though its Pakistani puppet program is crucial for national security.
06/07/2012
03:25

A Teacup Pig & Partisan Politics
The Colbert ReportS8

Americans are more polarized along partisan lines than at any point in the last 25 years, but one little piglet named Hamlet could mend the divide.
06/07/2012
04:55

Regina Spektor
The Colbert ReportS8

Singer-songwriter Regina Spektor explains her appreciation for her childhood immigration experience and her love of Russian culture.
06/07/2012
01:10

Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt Clue
The Colbert ReportS8

Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack treasure hunters will get a special hint to help them solve the puzzle and win a personal appearance by Stephen.
06/07/2012
03:40

The New York Times' Hit Job on Mitt Romney
The Colbert ReportS8

The New York Times slams Mitt Romney for his mansion and car elevator add-on, but one interview reveals the laidback side of Mitt.
06/07/2012
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