The Colbert Report

Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1

Season 5 • 06/08/2009

Stephen goes through the full 10 hours of basic training in Fort Jackson, SC.

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Intro - 6/4/09
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Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.
06/04/2009
04:29

The Word - Just Don't Do It
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Teens, sex is as natural as the birds and the bees because you will be stung to death and have your eyes violently pecked out.
06/04/2009
01:57

Wikipedia Bans Scientologists
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Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
06/04/2009
05:51

Dag Soderberg
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Dag Soderberg takes the Bible out of the bookshop and onto the coffee table with "Bible Illuminated."
06/04/2009
02:10

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - External Lungs
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External lungs increase office productivity by allowing employees to send them outside for a smoke break.
06/04/2009
04:04

Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCain
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Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
06/08/2009
00:24

Sign Off - New Haircut
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Stephen offers thanks to the U.S.O. for helping him get to Iraq and to General Ray Odierno for his new haircut.
06/08/2009
02:45

Operation Iraqi Stephen - Mysterious Trip
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It's not a hoax after all -- Stephen mysteriously makes his way to Baghdad, Iraq.
06/08/2009
04:12

The Word - Why Are You Here?
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You will all want to remember where you were when you heard Stephen declare victory in Iraq.
06/08/2009
05:15

Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray Odierno
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Under direct orders from Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama, General Ray Odierno shaves Stephen's head.
06/08/2009
04:26

Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1
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Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
06/08/2009
02:36

Operation Iraqi Stephen - S.H.
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The initials carved into the ceiling and pillars of the Water Palace shouldn't stand for Saddam Hussein anymore.
06/09/2009
05:29

Tareq Salha & Robin Balcom
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Specialist Tareq Salha and Sgt. Robin Balcom don't look anything like the soldiers from WWII movies.
06/09/2009
05:15

Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 2
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As much as Stephen doesn't want to admit it, it's time for him to graduate from basic training.
06/09/2009
02:19

Operation Iraqi Stephen - Bill Clinton & AMP Energy
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Bill Clinton works tirelessly to find a cure for Stephen Colbert, and the back of Stephen's head sells ad space for AMP Energy.
06/09/2009
00:17

Sign Off - Hi, Stephen's Mom
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The troops say hello to their special ladies.
06/09/2009
04:52

Formidable Opponent - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
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George H.W. Bush remembers the stars of WWII, and Stephen stresses the importance of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy to Stephen.
06/09/2009
05:30

Lt. Gen. Charles H. Jacoby Jr.
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Sarah Palin asks the troops to say hi to her son, Track, and Commanding General Charles H. Jacoby Jr. chooses his favorite soldier out of the 130,000.
06/10/2009
07:02

Operation Iraqi Stephen - Tom Hanks Care Package
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Joe Biden requests a favor, and Tom Hanks and Stephen figure out a way to ship puppies and ice cream to the troops.
06/10/2009
00:05

Sign Off - Head Rub
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Stephen gets a head rub from a soldier in the audience.
06/10/2009
01:19

Admiral Crunch
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Stephen identifies with strong military role models because he eats a lot of Admiral Crunch.
06/10/2009
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